Font Size

Cpanel

Butter Pecan Cake with Caramel Glaze

There is nothing in the least bit redeeming about this particular recipe! A friend of ours from Su...

Chicken Tortilla Soup ~ Anti-inflammatory Style

What sounds better than a warm and nourishing bowl of chicken soup on a winter day, when the mercu...

Quick Tortilla Turkey Wrap

On the next to the last day of the gluten challenge, we had 2 hunking tortillas to use up. After s...

  • Butter Pecan Cake with Caramel Glaze

  • Chicken Tortilla Soup ~ Anti-inflammatory Style

  • Quick Tortilla Turkey Wrap

What You'll Find Here

How To Videos

Fabulous Food & Recipes

Maximum Nutrition & Health

Simplicity & Homekeeping

Newsletter

Sign Up

Share

 

Hope For Pregnant Women With a Blighted Ovum & Misdiagnosed Miscarriage

We were ushered back to his office and in a very kind and patient manner, he spelled out our options. We were told there would be no baby, but an impending miscarriage hovered in our future and we were given the option of scheduling a D & C, taking a pill to end the pregnancy or letting nature take its course. Emotions swirled through our  minds and I immediately began shutting down, but I tried to hold on, and the best I could do was jot down notes. I had a large, irregularly shaped gestational sac, but it was not rounded like they liked. There was no definite baby. No fetal pole. No heartbeat. No yolk sac. That meant no baby to our OB. As the death bell sounded from his lips, he seemed as devastated for us as we were. He went over our options several times - all were about termination. He said there was no hope, that he would say the same thing to his wife. We talked about Job in the time of adversity. He kept telling us there was no hope, that he had never seen a blighted ovum live, that there was not a chance. Our precious baby was gone.

Why? Probably a chromosomal anomaly. It can be because of a problem with the egg, or the sperm. Something happens after conception and the cells don't form properly.

He kept talking about women who opted for the D&C so they would not have to deal with the waiting. If I chose to let nature take it's course, I could possible wait weeks. He said most women decided to end it within 2 weeks, as they could not handle the uncertainty much longer than that.

In a daze, I asked if a D&C was surgery. One of my goals in life is to get through it without surgery. Our OB assured us that a D&C is a minor surgery, I would be put to sleep, the procedure done and I would be fine soon after. The thought of surgery and anesthesia panicked me more than a little...confusion and a feeling of dread surrounded me like a thick cloud. Grief surrounded all of it like a cocoon. I wanted out of the office, away from the man so kindly talking about a D&C and closure. Didn't he get it? It is our post sterilization reversal miracle baby - how could he keep implying that our miracle baby is dead?

This is our story...

It is also a lens with hope for pregnant women coping with bad test results, from a blighted ovum, empty gestational sac or ultrasound showing no heartbeat, threatened miscarriage, low hormone levels and more. Blighted Ovum Hope exists to gather all of the information I can find on the net into one place, give you help in researching these tragic diagnosis, and as a place for answers and hope in the midst of despair.

What IF the doctor, the test or the ultrasound is wrong? There are women going on to have healthy babies....a small number. I would rather give it my best, than live forever with the questions, doubts and regrets.

Post Blighted Ovum Diagnosis - One Week Later

The days drag by, hope waxes and wanes....

More of our story.....

We need prayer. We are still pregnant a week after our "Blighted ovum" diagnosis with our post sterilization reversal miracle baby. Our OB is saying the baby is dead, a "blighted ovum," based on an ultrasound at 7 1/2 weeks, with a brand new 3D/4D machine. They did not find a heartbeat. He says I will miscarry - and it has been one week today and I continue with all signs of pregnancy still intact, no blood, no cramps, just all day sickness, horrendous aversions to food (esp. my favorites like spinach and veggies - which is so hard), the continuous bladder run-fun of pregnancy, sore breasts, etc. I have researched it thoroughly and it seems that those with a tilted uterus can have bad U/S results, and a heartbeat cannot be seen until 8 weeks, 10 weeks or even 12 weeks in some cases.

Our doctor completely disagrees, says there is a 0% chance, but says I can wait it out. He is a kind man, and has called to check on me - but he has 100% written off this baby. He is not scheduling further u/s or blood work.

One of my dearest friends here is an MD (family practice - not OB) and she concurs with my Dr. However she calls me almost daily to make sure I am okay and is advising me and watching me from afar. I think I make her crazy with our decision to wait it out. She is being a beloved friend by loving me through our choice to wait, in the face of this diagnosis.

Against my OB's advice, I refuse to abort, take the pill to end it all and "give me closure." I wait to see what the Lord is going to do and know that He has the answer. I will not hasten His will along by taking action, that may end up being too soon, and wonder if I killed what could have been a viable baby, had I just waited, born the pain and the not knowing a little while longer.

I have lost 2 babies before this happened, and we think, a post reversal baby this past winter. Always before, it would just be blood and cramping and then the overwhelming sadness of miscarriage, loss of hope, loss of the baby. This time, I have a sentence of "dead man walking" and an impending doom pronounced by my doctor and yet I live daily in my pregnant feeling body with this death sentence following me. I fight all day long with keeping my head on straight, on keeping enough food down, running to the bathroom constantly, and NOT freaking out over every, twingey feeling in my body (after all, it could be a gas pain! LOL!) and with just trying to stay calm, calm, calm. It is all such a parallel universe, it is difficult to explain the oddity of this time.

Our neighbor below had a "blighted ovum" 8 years ago - and that blighted ovum is now Megan, who is in 3rd grade and definitely ALIVE. Another lady in our Sunday School class had a blighted ovum that is now 7. So we know two blighted ovums in our own personal lives.

I know our chances are small, probably less than 1%, and that most women with my diagnosis will go on to lose their baby. Both my friend and my OB insist that it is "really actually very encouraging news that I can GET PREGNANT" because we can try again after we miscarry. And my heart breaks. It is not nearly as good of news to BE pregnant, as it is to have a BABY!

We have decided to carry on as if we are still pregnant, top quality whole food, as much organic as possible, prenatals, compounded progesterone, and a positive attitude. What I found AFTER the diagnosis, with his strong conclusion that there would be no baby - that my first instinct was to shut down, and what that would ultimately be doing is to reject the baby and wait for it to die. My initial response was "Hope deferred makes the heart sick" and hope deferred had almost killed me before. I could not do it again.

Yet, would I not be hastening death if I CHOSE to mentally detach? The Bible tells us in 1 Cor 13 "And now abide in faith hope and love, and the greatest of these is love," and that "Love never fails." By no means do I construe either of those verses to say the only result is a baby and a happy life - but I do think that they tell me that for NOW, my job is to love this baby with all of my heart, as I did on my way to that fateful ultrasound, and to pray for a miracle. Now of course, Satan whispers in overtime that the baby is already dead, so who am I fooling? The only time I am truly at peace is when I am praying and studying my Bible - which I am doing constantly, or serving.

As my neighbor said so beautifully - "this baby is the Lord's, whether it is born tomorrow, or on it's due date (April 20, 2008)" We have come to the distinct conclusion that no matter what the difficulties are in life and that includes the incredible sorrow of facing the loss of our 2nd baby this year - our 4th overall - Jesus has to be enough - our life rests on Him, and the mercies of His perfect love and His unmerited grace giving us our salvation. It is not merely on the good things in life.

The Lord began to move in our hearts 5 years ago to get a sterilization reversal. We began reading and praying, and then were completely convicted in spring of 2005, to sell the home and business, move cross country and get the reversal, which we did almost 2 years ago. We never felt that we had a PROMISE of a baby - merely that we were to OBEY the call to reverse the sterilization. 18 months of infertility followed, with me thinking I was pregnant all the while each two week wait, and always ending in another cycle. We think we had one miscarriage in February 2007. That spurred me to make an appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist RE (infertility specialist) for an evaluation, the day after I turned 41. My eggs are aging - so we decided to see what he had to say. It was also the only way my "pre-existing" thyroid condition could be checked and our insurance (which excludes all pre-existing conditions) until Jan 16, 2008. Is that not the weirdest thing. I had actually just wanted the thyroid checked - but my insurance company was the one who referred me to the RE so I figured that was the Lord trying to tell us something. Since we had insurance that would pay for EVALUATION and we are OKAY with evaluation - we decided to check.

After extensive testing, he said all systems are go for both of us - I am just too old, my eggs are too old and he said our only option was for IVF. I smiled and told him that we knew the Author and Creator of life and it was up to HIM whether we had more children. I was just seeking his medical opinion. I was tested by a few other doctors (I could be seen all I wanted to for infertility) and we tried to figure out what was going on, and fix anything. It was during this time that I was miraculously healed of the thyroid issues I had had for several years, on Good Friday (very strange - but the April 1 test showed thyroid issues and the same test on April 19, after 3 weeks with no meds, showed a perfect result AND ALL SYMPTOMS had vanished). We decided to accept the very strong impression I had that I had been healed, and accept it as a miracle!

Meanwhile, my strong impression, and what I took to be my obedience to the Lord was that we needed to take the summer of 2007 off from the fertility roller coaster, and that I needed to get as healthy as I could (had been losing weight SLOWLY) and exercise and get my body in as good of condition as I could. Our bodies are the temple of the living God - and who am I to have any leftover junk and gunk in it. Also that I needed to do those gallbladder/liver cleanses (I did two) and that I needed to go ahead with mercury amalgam removal (which I did) and had part two scheduled (and a third gallbladder cleanse), but canceled it when I found out I was pregnant. I spent the entire summer working on getting my body in shape, exercising twice a day, doing juice fasts, etc., and was down to 20 lbs from wearing my wedding dress! I had a lot of work left to do - when you only lose 1 1/2 pounds a month - it takes a LONG TIME! But slow and steady wins the race.

On our 15th wedding anniversary - we conceived! It just seemed like such a gift from God, we had been obedient and He had blessed us so. We were thrilled about our pregnancy!

So, here is where we stand.
1. We trust that the Lord's will be done and that He will give us the grace to accept it.
2. My husband is VERY hesitant about any further medical care and 2nd opinions - he is a systems administrator and his job is all about machines failing and he is just stunned that our baby's death bell is ringing based on a MACHINE and ONE TEST.
3. That said, he is okay with me getting a second opinion, but I am being told I will have to wait weeks around here. All it would take for this diagnosis to be reversed is a heartbeat - but with a tilted uterus I may wait until the 8th, 10th or even 12th week before seeing one (we are 8 1/2 weeks today)
4. I am trying to get in with an RE (Reprod Endo) because at least the infertility Drs understand the trauma of getting pregnant and do all they can to prolong it, whereas the OB's seem to be more casual. My Dr is supposed to be sending my records to an RE in town, who will review them and figure what he says.
5. We pray and we wait.
6. I try to stay calm and keep my heart and mind open to the Lord's agape love that never fails.
7. We are trying to maintain a sense of humor through this, for a merry heart doeth good, like a medicine!

Would you please pray with us for wisdom and strength, to make the decisions that need to be made (Drs and whether to pursue 2nd opinions or just wait) and that if I do lose this baby I do not need a D&C, which I really do not want to do. Please pray for our 13 year old daughter Emily, who is devastated by this - who wanted a baby sibling so much, for so long, that her heart is not turned away from the Lord if we lose this baby. And pray for my dear hus

Blighted Ovum Miracle Baby Update - 8 days past diagnosis

Reproductive Endocrinologist 2nd Opinion - 2nd Ultrasound Shows 2 out of 3 signs

Thank you so much for your prayers, comfort and love and your notes of encouragement. It is such a joy to be lifted up to the throne of grace in this situation.

While we had been working to get in with another doctor in town, I was still back on forth on whether to get a second opinion until I began to have a familiar squeezing, choking sensation in my throat. It felt vaguely familiar, but I just pushed it aside and did not seriously consider it, until Weds night, when my eyes rested on my thyroid books. A glimmer of recognition seized me, it is probably my thyroid acting up. I grabbed Mary Shoman's books on hypothyroidism and re-read the pregnancy section. Thyroid conditions can go haywire through pregnancy and post-partum, and left UNTREATED can lead to BRAIN DAMAGE and fetal death. Not what we wanted.

I had also talked to my Dad Weds afternoon and he seemed very upset that I was just floating without a doctor and furious that my OB had cut me loose unless I needed a D&C. He is 2400 miles away and worried about his little girl, and rightly so.

Dave agreed that I should be seen so... Thurs AM, I called the new Dr's office. They had gotten my records, had the Dr. review them, and called me back within minutes to schedule an appt, squeezed me in less than 2 hours later on a STAT basis.

Dr. Assad is a reproductive endocrinologist (infertility Dr. that I had canceled a 2nd opinion with, when we decided to take the summer off - I had planned on seeing him in Sept, which I ended up doing). Dr. Assad began talking to me while the nurse was still taking my blood pressure. He is wonderful - and willing to do whatever he can for this pregnancy. He said it is a miracle that we conceived on our own with 41 year old eggs post reversal! Ultrasound did not show a heartbeat, but we had a fetal pole and a defined yolk sac. We have 2/3 of a baby - we just need that heartbeat to make it whole. He was very kind, but clear that it did not look positive, but he was not willing to give up and wanted to monitor me for a few weeks. He answered all of my questions, ordered the thyroid tests, progesterone tests, and another quantatative HCG. His entire demeanor was focused on if the worst happens, lets find out WHY you are losing babies and see if something can be done or if this pregnancy holds, (and I made it clear I would not return to my 1st OB) lets get you in with the best perinatologist around, across the hallway, and give this baby every chance. I appreciated his attitude, expertise, enthusiasm for his job (he was followed by an observing resident). We also went over protocol for exactly what I should do if I begin to miscarry. The resident was very kind and told me that women often get upset that they cannot retrieve the baby - it all looks like clots and it is a mess. She told me to just do the best I could. While a distinctly unpleasant thought, it gave me great comfort to KNOW what to do in case of worst scenario. I am finding, the more I face difficulties in life, that when I have two (or in our case A-Z) plans "if things don't work out" the easier it is to handle them (no different than an earthquake preparedness plan or disaster preparedness of backing up your hard drive.) Then when faced with the monumental, when your mind wants to shut off, when grief overruns you like a tornado of strife, you just turn to protocol and do what needs to be done. I was told to call if ANYTHING happened.

Today, Dr. Assad called me with blood results. My thyroid is testing fine, so the choking sensation is probably my back spasming (went to the chiro for a much needed adjustment). My HCG level is down by 1/3, but he is not overly concerned with that as it is from two different labs and they run tests differently, so future results with his lab would tell a better story. He also said the HCG's are great for the first 4 or 5 weeks of pregnancy, but taper off after that, so he would not get upset by it. (I did read of a case study where the woman's HGC level fell by 1/2, but she ended up delivering her "blighted ovum" as a healthy baby AT term). Although I am on compounded progesterone, my levels are very low (which he was not overly concerned with because he said the levels testing in blood are usually low) He was clear that things still don't look good, but he will continue to monitor them. We are establishing a baseline. He talked a bit about insurance and testing, if I lose the baby and what triggers red flags for insurance companies and might kill future options with future pregnancies. He wants to take care of us now, and preserve all options for the future - which is so different from "call me when you are ready for a D&C." He again told me to call if ANYTHING happened.

So - the good news is - I was able to witness to a lot of people at the new doctor's office and blood draw station, we ruled out a thyroid problem (that miraculous thyroid healing still holds!), found a physician who is interested in WHY I miscarry (when you are facing your 4th miscarriage - this is a huge relief) and who is willing to monitor this pregnancy for the foreseeable future. I look at ALL TESTING as a possible bridge to my daughter's future - as infertility runs on both sides of my family. We want to preserve her ability to have children by documenting my history now. We know the Lord's hand is in all of it, He ultimately opens of closes the womb - that is not what I am saying. We have insurance that will cover the testing - so why not do what we can. Whatever we can find out on me, might ultimately help her (she wants a dozen kids). Maybe she will never have to walk in the shoes of her mother, which would be well worth every scan or test I do now. Only the Lord knows her future and I pray it is not like mine.

Reality is still grim. While I have not given up hope - I will probably lose this precious baby. But I feel quietly assured that it is ultimately going to be OKAY this time. I was terrified that I would fall off into a gulf of despair and not come back, as we left the OB's office with my death sentence last Weds. I was despondent, I could not see facing winter and a miscarriage at the same time. But the Holy Spirit keeps whispering that "so great a Salvation" is enough, and I find the very basic tenet of salvation is the absolute cornerstone I need to hang onto right now. We have spent the week studying JOY and I think of Christ and "for the joy set BEFORE HIM" that He suffered the cross. He did not look at the horror of the moment, the pain of the moment - He looked beyond all of that and He still chose to die a perfect death, for US. That is no small thing. We forget in the busyness of life, the press of overcommittedness, the tyranny of the urgent and the chasing after goals, and especially during the strains of life and sorrows of fallen humanity. The JOY of the LORD is my strength indeed.

While I assuredly have sorrow, I have hope again. And not hope that we get a bouncing bundle of joy, but hope that no matter what, we have the Lord. Our names are written in the Lamb's book of Life in heaven, I am thankful for SO GREAT A SALVATION. The Holy Spirit has just kept soothing my heart with the perfect balm of Gilead over and over. We have had the opportunity to witness to people in the midst of this situation. Perhaps our sorrow, and our willingness to talk about it, will end up blessing someone else. My "blighted ovum hope" site is coming along, although I have not had much time to work on it, but am doing what I can. We never know what results our trials will reap in someone else's life - the question is are we open to the Lord's lead to use them.

So again, I thank you so much for your prayers and your love.

LisaB! who is still pregnant (but not barefoot on this rainy day) in Tennessee

What IS a blighted ovum?

From the American Pregnancy Association

According to www.americanpregnancy.org "A blighted ovum (also known as "anembryonic pregnancy") happens when a fertilized egg attaches itself to the uterine wall, but the embryo does not develop. Cells develop to form the pregnancy sac, but not the embryo itself. A blighted ovum usually occurs within the first trimester before a woman knows she is pregnant. A high level of chromosome abnormalities usually causes a woman's body to naturally miscarry.

A blighted ovum is the cause of about 50% of first trimester miscarriages and is usually the result of chromosomal problems. A woman's body recognizes abnormal chromosomes in a fetus and naturally does not try to continue the pregnancy because the fetus will not develop into a normal, healthy baby. This can be caused by abnormal cell division, or poor quality sperm or egg."

Week 9 - Unproductive Labor Pains - 10 days past diagnosis

Last night I thought it was all over....

Last night, I thought it was all over. It had been a rough day, a very emotional day, with vacillating thoughts. It is hard to be continuously brave and positive, and stare at such monumental odds being against us. Blighted ovum - blighted life.

While I accept fully the Lord's will with this pregnancy, it is not easy. It is difficult. I still live in the body of a pregnant women, with my "dead man walking" diagnosis. I try to keep the stress down, to control my thoughts and emotions, rather than letting them spiral out of control. Keeping calm is safe for the baby, a frenzy of emotion is not.

I felt exhausted, and let the Saturday drip by slowly. I kept hoping to take a nap -as my husband had to go into work on a server. Emily had a friend over, and I won't go to sleep while she has kids over, but finally lay down for a few minutes. The exhaustion never quite went away.

I made dinner, Thai curry, and made 3 extra lunches and a big extra portion for Em and I for lunch, and a whole extra dinner of sauce. I was so proud of my "feed the freezer" accomplishment, and thrilled to have put up some tangy "comfort food" until I tasted it. I NEVER cook without tasting, and I had added so many vegetables, that I had completely watered down my rich, delicious coconut milk and red chili curry paste sauce to a bland sauce. And I had multiple dinners and lunches of the bland mixture. I don't normally blow Thai food - so it was rather distressing - but just another little cold slice of reality - my mind and heart are not where they should be. So much for a sense of accomplishment..

We dumped a ton of chili sauce on it, kept salting it, and choked it down. Dave covered his lunches with tons of chili sauce, and I can adjust seasonings as we use the other meals later.

We were relaxing, after dinner, and debating about whether or not to make treats for church, when I began cramping at 8:45. It felt like a long contraction. 15 minutes later, at 9pm, another one. We decided to go to bed early.

I reviewed the list with Dave, so we would be prepared, in case we needed a trip to the hospital.
1. Running a fever
2. Dizzy or feeling faint (prolonged - not just the surge when you get up too fast)
3. Excessive pain
4. Excessive bleeding (more than 3 pads per hour)

Further preparing for what I thought was the inevitable, I had a towel ready in case there was breakthrough bleeding and a thermometer by the bed. I took my temperature right before bed, holding steady at 98.2 so no fever.

We prayed through crampy feeling contractions. For the next 5 hours, it felt like contractions came and went all night. I made the mental determination that I would try and rest in-between or sleep in-between, like I did in the 30 hours of labor with Emily. At 3am, I went to the bathroom. Not a drop of blood. How could I do 5 hours of contractions and cramping, and not have a drop of blood? Exhausted, I finally went to sleep.

I woke at 7am Sunday morning, and felt okay. I immediately reached for the thermometer to take my temperature - it registered 98 degrees. I cautiously got up - not a drop of blood. Nothing. The cramping and feeling of contractions had stopped, although I felt a little odd in the abdomen. I survived a shower. Each step, I wondered, what will I be able to endure, should I go to church, am I okay to be alone?

I cautiously made coffee, then decided I wanted buckwheat pancakes enough to stir them up, so made a double batch. Dave came out as I started cooking and took over the cooking so I could get ready. We went to church and everything was fine. No dizziness during the singing, twinges - but no more cramps.

It is now 2:17, 17 hours since the beginning of cramping and not a hint of blood.

So the waiting continues. I feel as if we have dodged yet another bullet and am just not sure what to do, except endure. And try and post what I can to this lens. And submit our lives to the Lord and try to carry on.

Please SHARE YOUR STORIES on Blighted Ovums, Misdiagnosed Miscarriage, LOW Hormone Levels and more

This is a site for women facing a bleak pregnancy diagnosis, whether you share a blighted ovum, empty gestational sac diagnosis like me, or have had a threatened miscarriage, low HCG or hormone levels, etc.

We would love to hear your story and share it with other women facing the same devastating news. You can write anonymously, or you can share your name, whatever is comfortable for you. We would like to know what your diagnosis is, the basic particulars, how you survived the diagnosis, what happened, and any miracles the Lord worked in your life through the process.

He makes the barren woman......

My daughter Emily's favorite Psalm....and her hope and prayer for her Mama

Praise the LORD!
Praise, O servants of the LORD,
Praise the name of the LORD.
Blessed be the name of the LORD
From this time forth and forever.
From the rising of the sun to its setting
The name of the LORD is to be praised.
The LORD is high above all nations;
His glory is above the heavens.
Who is like the LORD our God,
Who is enthroned on high,
Who humbles Himself to behold
The things that are in heaven and in the earth?
He raises the poor from the dust
And lifts the needy from the ash heap,
To make them (L)sit with princes,
With the princes of His people.
He makes the barren woman abide in the house
As a joyful mother of children.
Praise the LORD!

Psalm 113 NASB

Determining the Viability of Early Pregnancies: Two Case Reports

Report from the Journal of Family Practice

Go to the link at the bottom of this page to read the entire 5 page article. This talks about ultrasound and low HCG levels indicating a blighted ovum diagnoses, which then actually ended in successful pregnancies.
__________________________________________________
Journal of Family Practice, Oct, 1991 by Pamela M. Davis

First-trimester bleeding demands that an expedient diagnosis be made if an ectopic pregnancy is suspected. In addition, rapid determination of a failed pregnancy or blighted ovum is often sought to facilitate quick evacuation of the products of conception. Ultrasonography and quantitative measurement of the [beta]-subunit of human chorionic gonadatropin ([bega]-HCG) have raised the expectation that early determination of fetal viability is possible. These expectations may be unfounded. This report presents two cases in which undue reliance on laboratory interpretations could have led to adverse iatrogenic outcomes.

One difficulty in establishing pregnancy viability early lies in differentiating the blighted ovum ("empty sac") from the similar appearing misdated early gestation. The pelvic ultrasound cannot distinguish between the two before 8 weeks' gestation.[16,17] Therefore, the diagnosis of a blighted ovum requires two or three serial ultrasound examinations. Certain sonographic findings are proposed as measures of nonviability. The only indicator universally agreed upon is that a sac 2.5 mL in size without a fetal pole is the threshold of nonviability.[15-21] The vaginal probe ultrasound, which is now available, offers earlier confirmation of viability. Additional experience is necessary to see if it eliminates the uncertainty in identifying a blighted ovum.
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0689/is_n4_v33/ai_11492546/pg_1

The Misdiagnosed Miscarriage Site

Anyone with a blighted ovum, low HCG levels, threatened miscarriage will find encouragement here.

This is an excerpt from the fabulous Misdiagnosed Miscarriage site that is full of information. Anyone with a threatened miscarriage should go read the encouraging information there, whether you have a blighted ovum, low HCG levels, or more.
__________________________________________________
The Misdiagnosed Miscarriage was started on the idea that misdiagnosed miscarriages do occur. As a result, women need to be equipped with all the information before doing anything to end the pregnancy prematurely. If you'd like to know if you can safely wait before having a D&C or to have a natural miscarriage, please see this post: http://www.misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=80
http://www.misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com/mycommunity/index.php
Our goal at the Misdiagnosed Miscarriage is to support the mother as she deals with the possibility of a miscarriage. Unfortunately, miscarriage is all too common and many women visiting here will end up miscarrying and our goal is to support those who miscarry any way we can.

We understand the emotional pain both before and after a miscarriage and the women volunteering on this board will try to do everything they can to help you get this through this time. Do not hesitate to ask any of the moderators for help and support via posts or through private messaging.

This is a board of support. We know that women who may be miscarrying can go just about anywhere else and hear about the fact that there is most likely no hope. We, although the minority, intend to give support. Every women posting here already knows she may be indeed miscarrying. We are here to give any information that may give her hope. We ask that those women posting here keep in mind that a diagnosed miscarriage is not necessarily a miscarriage until a woman has all the information and knows 100% that she is indeed about to miscarry.

Thank you.

Surviving Day By Day - With a Blighted Ovum Diagnosis - Day 12 of After Diagnosis

When you get the chilling diagnosis that your precious, long dreamed for, long hoped for, long prayed for baby is not going to be born, while you wait for the impossible heart beat to show up on an ultrasound, what do you do? How do you keep from going insane? How do you continue to live each day?

I am certainly no expert, but am facing Day 12, post diagnosis, no miscarriage yet, waiting for an ultrasound on Thursday (it is Monday). I have wasted a tremendous amount of time, with vacillating emotions, a self imposed pseudo bed rest, giving up on life in grief and mourning. I seem unable to make a decision, to move forward. We are facing gigantic mountains in our life, above and beyond the pregnancy, and decisions need to be made. We need to downsize, leave our beautiful home. My mind twists and turns - do I have to lose the baby and voluntarily give up my beautiful home too? It seems to much to begin packing and readying, when we await news.

I look at the vast areas of my life that are being neglected...

I am doing laundry, but not the ironing.
It is the middle of the month, need to balance the checkbook AND figure out the mid-month bills.
I need to finish purging the office (a massive job) and get it 100% ready to move (we will probably not have an office and reducing our files to the absolutely necessary is paramount.)
I need to write down what we have done for school for the past two weeks
I need to make sure we are on track (we are not) and get us back on track

In the face of a monumentally life twisting, "your baby is dead" diagnosis, we have to control what can still be controlled in our lives. We have to take positive action, even in the mundane, and move forward, even if it is one baby step at a time. If that means we sign up for Flylady and begin her daily challenges, or just commit to a task, we may as well do it. Then at least we can be thankful that we spent this dreadful wait in positive activity. The tasks we accomplish will still face us, whether we do them in the "waiting period" or not. And it is so much better to attack the dreaded tasks when life is not good.

If I continue to increasingly neglect my duties, they will be there when this situation ends (either after we get a heartbeat and all systems are go - or if we lose the baby officially) Why wait for resolution? After all, who wants to "celebrate an answer" by purging an office (after running a company for 10 years - that is a LOT of purging) on a crisp, delicious fall day, with leaves turning and views of the gorgeous Blue Ridge Mountains beckoning and calling you to a drive and a picnic and a stop for warm apple pie and steaming hot coffee at the end of the day?

Is it not better to purge today - on a day that is unsure as the dreadful wait stretches closer to the two week wait mark (hmm, another version of the infamous two week wait)?

Is it not better to purge TODAY, while it is still green, and my mind most needs occupying, rather than wait for the gorgeous hues of fall to completely overtake the beautiful mountains. In another two weeks it will be unbelievably breathtaking here, how much better to take a ride THEN. That will be my reward for a week spent in baby steps, purging the office, in 15 minute segments at a time.

Strategies to end the roller coaster - What to DO to take CONTROL of your LIFE back!

What do I do with my time all day while I wait? What can you do, dear sister, as you wait?

I spoke to my husband about it this morning. Normally I am a very goal oriented person. I love to work a plan. The self imposed pseudo bed rest is done - lest I go crazy. Resting is only stealing my peace.

The first thing you can do to regain sanity is spend some serious time in the Word daily. Are you doing a Bible study currently? Do you spend time with the Lord?

Today I spent about an hour studying about Job, of all people, and walked away refreshed and confirmed that I need to move forward. I am studying the Fruit of the Spirit - and this week is PEACE. Oh, my dear sisters, how we need the Lord's perfect PEACE in this diagnosis. How do we find Peace? How indeed, I will share more this week. But for now - if you are not in a Bible study that is ministering to you, pray and ask the Lord what He would have you study. Ask friends for suggestions that will minister to you. Get out an inspirational book you always wanted to read, but would not take the time to do, like When God Doesn't Make Sense, or something else. We all have books on our shelves we bought with the best intention to read...now is the time to get them out and read them. How often have we purchased something, sat it on the shelf, and when the Lord most needed us to read it, it was there.

Do something to begin filling your mind with the agape love of the Lord.

Day 13 Post Blighted Ovum Diagnosis

Taking the day, despite the ebb and flow of emotions

Today is day 13, after the diagnosis of a blighted ovum. No bleeding yet.

I thought a lot yesterday about the reality that I would happily be 9 weeks pregnant, entering my 3rd month, according to "What to Expect When You are Expecting," had it not been for the ultrasound saying I had a blighted ovum. We would be happily considering furniture (with a teenager at home and one on her own - there is no baby stuff in this house!) and I would be happily sewing the maternity patterns I so carefully picked out. The night before the diagnosis, I had custom fitted and cut out my first maternity blouse.... We would be going on, happily anticipating the birth of our post reversal miracle baby, with joy and content expectation.

Instead we live on a roller coaster. The blighted life. Each day, I find that I waver back and forth between expectant hope in a 2nd miracle, that we give birth to this baby, and between the cold hard reality that the chance of life is almost nil. I have found myself saying "I am TECHNICALLY pregnant."

As a child, my father always said, "You can't be sort of pregnant, you either ARE or you are NOT!" He used it as an illustration in absolutes. I have used it myself. And now, post diagnosis, it is no longer an absolute. I am "sort of pregnant."

I am continuing to act as if pregnant and continuing all the little things that make each day tolerable, to survive with pregnancy symptoms still intact. I eat 3 small meals and generally 3 small snacks which keeps the queasy stomach at bay. I keep up with the compounded progesterone. I take the prenatals. I avoid all anti-pregnancy things.

Yesterday was a very productive day. Not perfect - but one of the more productive days since the blighted life began. I caught up with grading all of Emily's papers, wrote down all of her completed assignments and projects in my Teacher's Book. We did science and a great experiment TWICE! She started a new Inductive Bible Study in the Precept Discover 4 Yourself series - "How to Study Your Bible For Kids." She is finishing up that series - before launching in the full fledged Precept studies next year (a prudent use of books already bought and a fabulous foundation for learning the principles of the inductive study method).

My husband carries on at work. He is struggling - it is just difficult for all of us.

Joy interrupted, that is what the blighted life boils down to, absolute, sheer joy uninterrupted. While decidedly true, it is very unbiblical. Joy is not dependent on circumstance, but on the Author and Perfecter of our faith. True joy is based on relationship and a right attitude (who we are based in Christ and so great a salvation) not on the ebbing and flowing of life. True joy is based on commitment and dedication, despite circumstances, in the MIDST of circumstances - not a response to the valleys and mountains. Often those responses are merely temper tantrums of sin - we spiral out of control, get mad because we don't get our way, and sin. Of which I do often, and repent often. We are promised the fellowship of His sufferings, we are not promised a life of ease, so why are we so surprised when we get what we are promised.

So much of life depends on attitude. What is my attitude as a 41 year old expectant mother with a blighted ovum diagnosis? What is my attitude indeed? I am sorry to report that my attitude wavers and changes back and forth. I would like to blame that merely on hormones, as we (allegedly) pregnant women like to do (did you notice the attitude in the word allegedly - I no longer feel the RIGHT to CLAIM that I am PREGNANT....) But reality is, whether my hormone are in control OR out of control, whether my mind and body are wracked with pain or not, I am still responsible, before a holy and righteous God, for my attitude.

Oh Lord, that you would forgive me as I grieve you, that you would wash me clean with the power of your blood. Please forgive me Lord, and help me to walk in a manner worthy of your gospel, and of You.

Dear sisters who are in this same position, I pray that the Lord may give you His perfect grace and mercy to endure, and that He will give you peace. I pray this site gives you the HOPE to carry on, that it does not discourage you, and that you will find answers here. May the Lord hold you and keep you - as you wait upon the Lord.

Great Stuff on Amazon

Terrific Pregnancy Books

Here are my favorite books on pregnancy - from the tried and true "What to Expect" series (although they are woefully quiet on organics) to Shonda Parker's fabulous Naturally Healthy Pregnancy. Watch for her soon to be out revised edition.

What to Expect When You're Expecting, Third Edition

Amazon Price: (as of 01/06/2011) Buy Now

The Complete Organic Pregnancy

Amazon Price: $10.19 (as of 01/06/2011) Buy Now

Naturally Healthy Pregnancy

Amazon Price: (as of 01/06/2011) Buy Now

Naturally Healthy Woman

Amazon Price: (as of 01/06/2011) Buy Now

Reader Feedback

submit
    • Reply
      Oprah :-) Jan 3, 2011 @ 6:37 am | delete
      hi i did my home preg test last dec 25 and it was positive and i did it again the nxt day and same thing it was positive.My Dr. ask me to do the u/s and to find out that there is a gestational sac only. My dr. ask me to repeat it after two weeks...i hope it will turn out ok....I believe that whatever will happen it is the Lords will.....:) Keep praying.......
    • Reply
      Oprah :-) Jan 3, 2011 @ 6:37 am | delete
      hi i did my home preg test last dec 25 and it was positive and i did it again the nxt day and same thing it was positive.My Dr. ask me to do the u/s and to find out that there is a gestational sac only. My dr. ask me to repeat it after two weeks...i hope it will turn out ok....I believe that whatever will happen it is the Lords will.....:) Keep praying.......
    • Reply
      S.O. Dec 1, 2010 @ 11:03 pm | delete
      Hi Lisa, Thank you for the wonderful site...I went for my first ultrasound last wednesday(Nov 24, 2010)(7 weeks 5 days) and my ObGyn saw an empty sac with no embryo - she believes the embryo might have stopped growing a week or two ago(blighted ovum). They drew blood on the same day and I went on Friday(Nov 26,2010) again for another blood draw. My obgyn emailed me later that friday saying that my HCG was still rising so she wanted me to wait it out for 10-14 days and go for another ultrasound but asked me not to be too optimistic because of the ultrasound on Wednesday(nov 24,2010).
      I am here, waiting, taking prenatal vitamins and praying to God asking him to keep me strong and keep my baby healthy, happy and alive in me. God give me all the strength to hold on to You No Matter What - give me patience, hope and pure faith in you. Amen. Thank you Lisa again for this wonderful website. As I was crying in the evening today(Dec 1,2010) reading through this website calmed me down, sheered me up and renewed my faith in God. Thank you so much! :)
    • Reply
      S.O. Dec 1, 2010 @ 11:02 pm | delete
      Hi Lisa, Thank you for the wonderful site...I went for my first ultrasound last wednesday(Nov 24, 2010)(7 weeks 5 days) and my ObGyn saw an empty sac with no embryo - she believes the embryo might have stopped growing a week or two ago(blighted ovum). They drew blood on the same day and I went on Friday(Nov 26,2010) again for another blood draw. My obgyn emailed me later that friday saying that my HCG was still rising so she wanted me to wait it out for 10-14 days and go for another ultrasound but asked me not to be too optimistic because of the ultrasound on Wednesday(nov 24,2010).
      I am here, waiting, taking prenatal vitamins and praying to God asking him to keep me strong and keep my baby healthy, happy and alive in me. God give me all the strength to hold on to You No Matter What - give me patience, hope and pure faith in you. Amen. Thank you Lisa again for this wonderful website. As I was crying in the evening today(Dec 1,2010) reading through this website calmed me down, sheered me up and renewed my faith in God. Thank you so much! :)

Chilling Story of a Misdiagnosed Blighted Ovum - The D&C that lived. Strasel v. Seven Hills OB-GYN Assoc., Inc.,

IN THE COURT OF APPEALS, FIRST APPELLATE DISTRICT OF OHIO, Hamilton County, Ohio

IN THE COURT OF APPEALS
FIRST APPELLATE DISTRICT OF OHIO
HAMILTON COUNTY, OHIO
http://www.sconet.state.oh.us/rod/newpdf/1/2007/2007-ohio-171.pdf

OB-GYN Associates, Inc., d.b.a. Seven Hills Women's Health Centers, and Seven Hills Obstetrics and Gynecology Associates, Inc. ("Seven Hills") for an initial pregnancy appointment. Strasel, who was obese, had a history of irregular menstrual cycles, and the date of her last cycle was undetermined. Strasel was the mother of two children, the oldest of which had been born with a birth defect.
{¶2} The Seven Hills midwife scheduled Strasel for a sonogram on December 27, 2001, to confirm her due date. The sonogram showed a sac in Strasel's
uterus, but the sonographer could not detect a heart beat or a fetal pole. The sonographer's report stated that she suspected a blighted ovum, a condition in which an empty placental sac develops in the uterus without a fetus. The report also stated that because of Strasel's obesity, the sonographer's ability to see was "limited." The
sonographer stated in her report, "I think a follow-up sonogram should be done." Seven Hills's midwife told Strasel that it appeared that she did not have a viable pregnancy. Strasel was told to go home and that she would be contacted later.
{¶3} Defendant-appellant and cross-appellee Dr. Xavier G. Ortiz was given Strasel's medical file, including the sonographer's report and still photographs of the sonogram, to review. Dr. Ortiz saw an irregular tear-shaped gestational sac that
apparently was without a fetal pole or a heartbeat. Dr. Ortiz diagnosed Strasel with a blighted ovum. Dr. Ortiz knew that Strasel was obese and that Strasel's body size had resulted in the sonographer's "limited ability to see." Dr. Ortiz knew that the sonographer had recommended a second sonogram. He also knew that there was a "great disparity" regarding the gestational age of Strasel's baby and that she had a history of irregular menstrual cycles. Dr. Ortiz did not examine Strasel.

{¶4} Dr. Ortiz had the Seven Hills surgery scheduler reserve a time for Strasel to undergo a dilatation and curettage ("D & C") procedure the following
morning. In a D & C procedure, the cervix is opened, a suction device is placed in the uterus, and the contents of the uterus are suctioned out. Any tissue adhering to the uterine wall is "combed out," and the uterus is aspirated to remove any remaining
contents. A D & C procedure is essentially the same as an abortion procedure. Dr. Ortiz did not order a follow-up sonogram or blood tests to confirm whether Strasel was pregnant. Strasel was contacted by the Seven Hills midwife, who told Strasel that she was not pregnant and that Dr. Ortiz wanted to talk to her about a D & C. Before Dr. Ortiz spoke to Strasel, she was contacted by an anesthesiologist from Mercy Hospital Anderson to discuss the surgery, which had been scheduled for the next day. Later that day, Strasel and her husband, plaintiff Daniel Strasel, met with Dr.Ortiz to discuss the D & C procedure. Strasel stated that when she questioned Dr. Ortiz about his diagnosis of a blighted ovum, he stated that he was certain of her condition. Dr. Ortiz never informed Strasel that the sonographer had recommended another sonogram or that other blood tests could confirm her pregnancy. Strasel stated that Dr. Ortiz told her it was difficult to schedule surgeries and that waiting could endanger her health. Strasel consented to a D & C, which Dr. Ortiz performed the next day.
{¶6} For weeks after her surgery, Strasel experienced bleeding, discomfort,pain, cramping, and nausea. Strasel also began to suffer emotionally. Seven weeks after her surgery, Strasel still believed that she was pregnant, and she made an
appointment at Seven Hills. After a positive blood test, Strasel was scheduled for a sonogram. The sonographer told Strasel that the sonogram revealed a 13-week-old fetus. Subsequently, Dr. Ortiz told Strasel that he had misdiagnosed her viable
pregnancy as a blighted ovum. Strasel was told that the problems and complications that her baby might suffer as a result of the D & C procedure were unknown.

If we lived 100 years ago....

we would NEVER know what a "blighted ovum" is

Do you ever think about that?
If you lived 100 years ago - you would never know what a blighted ovum is.
You would never know there was a "problem" with a pregnancy, unless you lost the baby.
Bliss.
Sheer, happy, pregnant bliss.

Normally, I love facts. It is my nature to confront the brutal facts, and make decisions based on REALITY. But just this once, it would have been nice not to know this, to just be skipping along 9 1/2 weeks along, entering our 3rd month.
(Photo from the Netherlands Inn, TN, c. Rev War -- decidedly BEFORE ultrasound!)

Two Week Miracle ~ One Mama's story

"it's right where it is supposed to be NOW!"

Dear Lisa,

My good friend forwarded me your email regarding your situation about your pregnancy. Please know that my heart goes out to you and I will be praying for you.

She thought of me because she knew that back in 1984, I too had an event that changed my life. I have always been 100% pro life and made that very clear. My husband has been in the ministry for 25 years and we both strongly feel that God gives life and He only should take it away.

Back in 1984, I was excited about being pregnant for the second time. I had a ovarian cyst removed in 1983 the size of a grapefruit, so my doctor wanted to do an ultrasound. During the ultrasound, I could see by the facial expression from the technician that something was wrong, but of course, she wouldn't say anything to me. My husband and I were called into the doctor's office and was told that I had an abdominal pregnancy. Remember this was back in 1984 and he said at that time, there had been only two successful full term deliveries of this type in Huntington, WV and he (the doctor) didn't want to take that risk. He told my husband and I that he suggested a D&C. But the probably with this is while I was having the ultrasound, my husband and I could see our little baby bouncing off the walls and having a good ole time (as we say here in WV) and she looked perfect to us! How could I make a decision to abort her? The doctor told us the risks, which was very grim. He said usually the baby does fine but the risk to the mother is great. If I would start bleeding during the c-section, they wouldn't be able to stop it and I would bleed to death. He also told us that if we chose to continue the pregnancy, we would have to get another doctor. He just wouldn't take that risk. Please realize that I had this doctor for a while and I trusted him completely. He is a good man and I knew he cared about my heath. We were to come back in two weeks and have another ultrasound done and give him our decision.

Well, to make a long story short, we had everyone praying. Our church, our family, and every friend that we knew was praying for us. My husband, even though he's very much against abortion, was faced with the thought of losing me and he told me that he didn't want to take that risk. But he left it up to me, since it was my body. I adamantly claimed that I would not abort this child and felt that God was in control and would see me through this. (Please know that I was in turmoil and was scared to death)

It was the longest two weeks of our lives. We went back two weeks later and had the second ultrasound. Again, our little Sara was bouncing off the walls and was very lively. The doctor was in the room and he said and I quote%u2026.."I don't know where the baby was the first time%u2026..but it's right were it's suppose to be now!" Amazing and PTL! I knew that God had answered our prayers. I told him that God knew all along and that we had to trust Him. One minute she's out of the womb and two weeks later, she's in the womb and just fine! Now the doctor said that probably what happened was in the first ultrasound, because of scar tissue from my ovarian surgery, it looked like the baby wasn't in the womb, but we knew different. Our Sara was, as we call her, our miracle baby. She's now 23 years old and a joy and blessing to our lives.

I can't tell you what to do in your case because you have a little different situation. But I can tell you as a mother and a pregnant woman who went through the most trying two weeks of her life, trust God and He will take care of you. I Peter 5:7%u2026"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."

I will continue to pray that God will sustain you through this time. He loves you so.

Love in Christ,

Teri in WV (through a mutual friend in CA)

Encouragement for today - Two Weeks POST diagnosis

" I am not what I ought to be.

I am not what I wish to be.

I am not even what I hope to be.

But by the cross of Christ,

I am not what I was. "

-John Newton

Day 15 - 3rd Ultrasound - New Diagnosis

Not giving up....

Thursday dawned with blue sky and fluffy clouds heralding the quiet reality that fall might actually come to Tennessee! A welcome relief from a long summer.

No news IS the news!

In the fullness of time, all will be revealed....we just don't have the fullness of time yet. Had a nice time studying Lazarus this morning, and the fact that Jesus KNEW what was going on and deliberately chose to prolong coming, until Lazarus was dead for 4 days. Why? He had a plan and a purpose in the waiting. He was busy assembling the Jews, and getting all the people together, ultimately as part of the plan to glorify the Father through the Son.

We are studying that as part of the peace section of this Fruit of the Spirit study - and I KNEW, KNEW, KNEW there would be no answers today.

Sure enough - we don't! Still sorta kinda have a fetal pole and a yolk sac but NO heartbeat - so I am still sorta kinda pregnant. Life with a blighted ovum. I go back next week for U/S #4. In fact, my gut instinct is that it will be another 2 weeks of waiting before anything definitive, which will be FOUR weeks after the original diagnosis. That means nothing, and is not a "word!" it is just my feeling. I am 9.5 weeks today - and that would put me at almost 12 weeks.

Dr. Assad is fabulous - still very "let's get to the bottom of this" and says that he will continue to monitor. He is also very clear that he is not willing to give up and in his infertility work has seen strange things happen, oddities like mine and ended up with babies. Exceptions, yes. He said in about 10-15% of the cases like mine - it ends up positive - IF YOU WAIT IT OUT. Much better odds than the 1% or half of 1% I was thinking. Reproductive endocrinology is his realm - and the practice of infertility is all about the IMPOSSIBLE and the RE's wait it out. So my odds are still very low - but we all know Who the Author of life is! He knows, we just have to see dimly for a little while longer.

God is so good though - Dr. Assad's nurse Kimberly and I have the BEST time together -she is a devoted Christian and the love of the Lord just shines in her. We just sit there and have a little praise session each time she does my vitals and takes my information! She told me today - "you always have that BIG SMILE on your face, I love it when I see you!" Most infertility patients don't smile - and I never really thought of that - she probably has a rather bleak job. She said that she could see the joy in me - which is a total testimony to the Lord. She is just one of those people that you instantly bond with, and know you will see in heaven long after this whole thing is over. Kimberly - the light of Christ shines so brightly in YOU and you have made a terrifying weekly visit a blessing. You are appreciated, and I know the Lord is smiling at you and saying "Well done good and faithful servant." It is no small thing to bring hope, kindness and a smile full of sunshine to infertility patients and problem pregnancies.

Next appt - next Thurs!

I can't thank you all enough for your prayers - since day 10 or 11 post diagnosis - it is as if I am soaring on the peace of the Lord. Either way - it will be okay. Not easy, but okay. I know it is all of my dear sisters and brothers in Christ praying - and we do appreciate your prayers, as there are possibly a few more weeks in this state.

Comparing Ultrasounds

leads to despair

There are some really wonderful things about modern medicine. A good ultrasound is one of them.

Today, before I went to the doctor, I did some sleuthing based on my last pregnancy. I got out the calender, taking my original due date, and counted the weeks backwards to figure out exactly how far along I was at each ultrasound.

I then took the picture of Emily at 7 weeks, and 12 weeks and compared them to my one and only ultrasound picture at 9 1/2 weeks. Apples and oranges, I know, not to mention a technology separation of 14 years. There is no comparison. Our miracle baby seems to be a jumble of what may be parts...nothing in the right place. Emily was perfectly forming. At 12 weeks, her little face peered happily at the ultrasound waves, captured for eternity in a photo. Her little face showed clearly - with traces of the big eyed baby girl she would be. The whole time I was pregnant with Emily, it was as if I knew her heart and soul, knew her personality, knew her. It was the happiest 9 months of my life, at that point.

But now, I compare this precious little Miracle Baby of ours, and I know it is a cardinal sin to compare one's children, and probably not healthy to compare ultrasounds...but there is such a difference.

And while I know this is all in the Lord's timing and hands, a very clear truth is beginning to spread over me like an unwelcome cloak.

Day 17 ~ Post Diagnosis of Blighted Ovum -

Steadfast in the storm

Day 17 post blighted ovum diagnosis is here, a Saturday. We might actually get rain tonight. It is so pleasant to think on thoughts not associated with my blighted life...

Resolve is wavering some. Yesterday was difficult for a myriad of reasons. At our women's Bible study, we were studying "PEACE" as a characteristic of the fruit of the Spirit. While the Lord has given me an extraordinary peace, in the midst of horrendous circumstances, as we face the diagnosis of our precious baby being dead, we know it is all HIM, and that it is mainly because of the prayers of the saints on our behalf.

At the same time - my absolute transparency in confiding this diagnosis out in the public realm, in creating this lens, in opening up the most private, personal part of our lives....the happenings within our womb, the obedience that we felt the Lord set in motion in our hearts over 5 years ago, have set me up for some attacks. The vast majority of folks have been blessings, supportive, with prayer. But there have also been those who have said incredibly cruel things. Who have picked at scabs. Been devoid of the agape love of the Lord when they speak or write. Used our opening up this personal tragedy to slice off a part of my heart in a brutal attack - that would have hurt at any time, but how much more so now in the face of monumental loss, the death sentence of our precious baby. I see long held anger at the life, at the Lord, at all sorts of things coming out. I realize we have stirred up a pot of emotions in people with our transparency....and it has been difficult to deal with some of the fall out.....

Glimpses in Life

The Beauty of Fall in Tennessee

We still are amazed that we live here now....far from the concrete jungle of Southern California

In your personal opinion, what does it take for a person to go to heaven?

In your personal opinion, what does it take for a person to go to heaven?

Is it having faith? And if so, in what?

Is it by working hard, being a good person, doing everything you can to get to heaven?

Is it by wearing the right clothes, studying the right books and living a clean life?

Are you not quite sure?

Have you never thought of it?

I would like like to share with you how the Bible answers this question, if it s all right. There is a word that can be used to answer this question: FAITH
F is for FORGIVENESS.

We cannot have eternal life and heaven without God's forgiveness.
"In Him [meaning Jesus] we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins" --Ephesians 1:7a, NKJV.
A is for AVAILABLE

Forgiveness is available. It is --
AVAILABLE FOR ALL
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life" --John 3:16, NKJV.
BUT NOT AUTOMATIC
"Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven" --Matthew 7:21a, NKJV.
I is for IMPOSSIBLE
It is impossible for God to allow sin into heaven.

GOD IS --- LOVE John 3:16, NKJV "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life"
GOD IS JUST "For judgment is without mercy" --James 2:13a, NKJV.
MAN IS SINFUL For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" --Romans 3:23, NKJV.

But how can a sinful person enter heaven, where God allows no sin?
T is for TURN

So ask yourself, if you were driving down the road and someone asked you to turn, what would
he or she be asking you to do? Would they be asking you to change direction?

To turn means repent. "So what do I need to turn from," you ask? We all need to TURN from something--sin and self
"But unless you repent you will all likewise perish" --Luke 13:3b, NKJV.
TURN to someone; trust Christ only. The Bible tells us that "Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that
He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the Scriptures" --1 Corinthians 15:3b-4, NKJV.
"If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved" --Romans 10:9, NKJV.
H is for HEAVEN

Heaven is eternal life.
HERE
"I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly" -- John 10:10b, NKJV.
HEREAFTER
"And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to myself; that where I am, there you may be also" --John 14:3, NKJV.
HOW
How can a person have God's forgiveness, heaven and eternal life, and Jesus as personal Savior and Lord?

FAITH (Forsaking All I Trust Him), Romans 10:9.

Understanding what we have shared, would you like to receive this forgiveness by trusting in Christ as your personal Savior and Lord?

"Father, I know that I have broken your laws, and understand now that my sins have separated me from you. I am truly sorry for all of my sins. I now want to turn away from my past sinful life, and toward you. Please forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again. I believe that your son, Jesus Christ died for my sins, was resurrected from the dead, is alive today, and hears my prayer. I invite Jesus to become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen."

If you prayed this prayer with all of your heart, you have just prayed to accept Christ. Congratulations and welcome to the kingdom!

Or maybe you said this prayer a long time ago and you just feel uncommitted, and feel a need to recommitment your life to Christ. You can pray the same prayer.

While heaven is no longer a place that you need to wonder about, the Bible tells us that "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He (Christ) who promised is faithful...not forsaking our own assembling together...but encouraging one another" Hebrews 10:23-25. You are encouraged, as a new believer, to begin attending a local church. We would like to invite to join Sunday School and begin attending church. You can find a church near you by going to http://www.sbc.net/ and clicking on "Find Church." Simply put in your zip code and it wll help you find a church near your home.

Our pastor has given us so much hope....

the little things in life

While we struggle through with this blighted ovum and now "missed abortion diagnosis" our beloved pastor has continued bringing the word of the Lord, in season and out. Several little things he has said - have given me tremendous hope in the Lord. We have no guarantee on our situation - we only have the assurance of our citizenship in heaven. It is enough. It has got to be enough, or I would shatter.

Our Pastor had just returned from preaching for a week on a missions trip to Nicarauga, I think doing large revivals (some details a little fuzzy these days and this one is! the rest is good). Hurricane Felix was brewing when they left and hit Nicarauga full force, in a Category 5 storm on Tuesday, while they were there. I prayed and prayed for them - that the Lord's work would go on and they would be okay. Our church had donated money to build a church in Nicarauga, and our mission team from our church dedicated it while they were down there. We talked to Pastor afterwards and he was thrilled, and fine! He said the Hurricane circled around them, and that it missed them by 200 miles. Said it rained heavily but they were able to complete ALL events and minister as planned. Now that is hope! Hope IN the Lord, that the gospel went out. I have pondered this for the past 2 weeks, and praised the Lord for His faithfulness with our mission team, Pastor and the people of Nicarauga. Many were saved.

It is the little things in life, where you see WHAT God is doing in other people's lives, that seem to matter so much to me right now. I am under no illusion that I get a baby, by this point...but that does not mean that hope disappoints. It does not.

OUR EXPECTATIONS OF LIFE DISAPPOINT. God is the same yesterday, today and forever - we just get our "feelings" and our "desires" and our "wish lists" and our "prayed for's" all confused....and when God doesn't deliver as we want, for our perfect little life to turn out, or even our "gee, we have suffered through so much life" - we get our feelings hurt or we get mad, and some go into a rage. If God is truly sovereign, we must accept His sovereign will in ALL things. That does not mean we like everything that happens to us, in a fallen world. It does not mean we like the way He chooses to shape and mold our character. But we must not hold the difficult things against Him and spend years in bitterness, grief or anger that "He did not keep His promises." He did keep His promises, the ones in scripture. How do you know what you think He promised, did not boil down to your desires, as opposed to His? Oh how careful we must be to not pin the Creator of the universe, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, to our little pigeonholed boxes with our finite dreams and expectations.

If we choose to be angry with God, we must understand that we are making a deliberate, conscious choice to waste our lives, that we are grieving a holy and righteous God, and that we cannot be used in ministry as He would like to use us. He may certainly use our situation, using our situation to minister to others through others - but our anger at Him negates His ability to use US personally. We have reduced him to a small "g" god. Furthermore, it is sin, and we will be held accountable.

Preaching on revival today, on revolution through revival, Pastor Arden said it so well, and it hit me so hard. He said in one sentence, preaching through Acts 8, about Simon the magician, wanting to learn about the power of the Holy Spirit, in order to monetize the miracles of the Living God. He did not want the message of the gospel, he wanted the power without the message. And this I write for my dear beloved sisters who are facing a blighted ovum, a missed abortion, a bad ultrasound, looking for a heartbeat as the pregnancy wears on, a misdiagnosed miscarriage, or any other horrendous news while you carry a precious baby....are we looking for the MIRACLE or are we looking for the MESSAGE? I know how desperately we look for the miracle...pray for the miracle...wait for the miracle and want the miracle. But does it boil down to, what has been so clear since that first, cloud scattered afternoon, when I looked up at that beautiful old brick church with the pretty stained glass windows depicting the life of Christ, does it boil down to Christ crucified, and our salvation and cleansing by His redeeming blood? "Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee, How great Thou art, How great Thou art."

Or is it all about us?

Day 20 - After Blighted Ovum Diagnosis (now upgraded to Missed Abortion)

Expectant hope - enduring patience

Day 20 post diagnosis of blighted ovum, now upgraded to missed abortion, no heartbeat. Yesterday, I was 10 weeks into the pregnancy, 1/4 of the way there.
One fourth. 2nd trimester begun. 3rd month begun.

What does the mind begin to wrap around, 20 days after you are told your baby is dead, in fact, that your baby probably had died a few weeks before that. I have potentially been carrying a dead baby around for a month, 5 weeks, maybe 6 weeks or more. And yet I carry still. Not a drop of blood from miscarriage, no fever, no real cramping (beyond the night of pre-term labor) absolutely NO signs that the pregnancy is not there. I am still dealing with some nausea, although I am doing much better. I am hit with a sudden need to get something in me - or I will violently throw up (last night during the altar call at church - how appropriate - and I tried to sit on the front row and discreetly eat a few nuts). Despite diagnosis, this appears to be normal, the nausea declining as the pregnancy wears on. Still dealing with other pregnancy signs. Still wholeheartedly living inside the body of a pregnant woman.

If we lived in the age before ultrasounds and pre-natal care, if we lived 100 years ago, we would still be ecstatically pregnant with our late life, miracle baby! Ecstatically pregnant and preparing for the arrival of our precious little one. Excited that this pregnancy had "held" and that we were 1/4 of the way to the finish line. Ecstatic that we had been given a chance in this baby, happily musing over plans and dreams of who the baby would be, and how we would raise this incredible gift up in the fear and admonition and LOVE of the Lord. Happily creating maternity clothes and altering my wardrobe to accommodate my growing belly. Excitedly piecing together a baby quilt, bunting and baby accessories for the nursery. Oh how happy we would be, planning for baby.

Instead, NOW, as this waiting stretches into eternity, I tell people I am "technically pregnant." Technically, I am.

Instead of planning a nursery, I plan ultrasound appointments with a reproductive endocrinologist. There is the weekly visit and ultrasound, with the continued hope, blighted a bit more each week. There is the never ending sense of charging forward, but never progressing. Of being, but not achieving. Of doing my best every single day to nurture this baby, but never being sure there IS a baby. It is rather like being stuck in remedial math - I am ready to graduate. I am ready to see a heartbeat. I am ready to know where we stand..

And please know, I am profoundly GRATEFUL for my RE - he is absolutely wonderful. I am just weary of being "sorta pregnant" of being "technically pregnant" of living in the shadowy half life of this blighted diagnosis.

Yet, I feel like David in the Old Testament books - after he had been anointed the next king of Israel, as King Saul was after him to kill him. David was resolute that he would NOT raise a hand against the anointed one of God. I do not carry an anointed one (as in a king) yet I feel that same sense of resolve on Day 20, I will not raise a hand against this precious miracle of God.

But I wonder now, on day 20, at 10 weeks and 1 day, 1/4 of the way through the pregnancy, in the 3rd month, 2nd trimester, how much longer I will be able to last, realistically, without a heartbeat. My hope is to make it to the 12th week. At 12 weeks, we could see Emily's FACE clearly, on technology from 14 years ago. It breaks my heart. With this baby, we see a discombobulated mess on ultrasound now, nothing where it should be...pieces (therefore, missed abortion). I do not think I will ever hold this baby.

If we do not have the form of a baby and a heartbeat by the 12th week, I think we will have to begin to look at the brutal facts. I pray the Lord does not MAKE ME. I will have lived with this diagnosis for over a month at that point, will have had multiple ultrasounds and blood tests. I will have done all I can do - above and beyond. Most women go straight for the D&C and I am at Day 20 of the wait -against the advice of 2 physicians, but under the care of a 3rd who agrees to let me wait it out. I will have fought for my baby's life, after being told the baby was dead (a few weeks before that original ultrasound).

I pray that He either gives us a heartbeat before then, OR that He takes this baby. Oh Lord, please do not make me raise a hand against your one.

Day 20 - Evening

Fears....

I just got home from a homeschool mom's meeting on becoming a published author. I have felt beyond exhausted the last two days - barely able to function in the afternoons. Today, I limped through, with an attempted nap in the late morning, and another attempted nap in the afternoon. I feel exhausted, and have a headache.

I debated on going to the meeting - but am trying to just GET OUT and do a few things....not just hole up and wait. I am thankful I did, had a wonderful time, got some great ideas.

Came home, and think I just began to see an ever so slight twinge of blood.

Lord, you already KNOW the answer of this precious miracle baby of ours. You have numbered her days...have you already welcomed her into heaven? Please give me the grace to accept Your perfect decision. Please help me not fall apart this time, or give up, or shut down. Lord, please give me the strength to endure....

Skillfully wrought in the fullness of God's Time

Fearfully and wonderfully made

Today, Day 21 post diagnosis, our beloved Miracle Baby has been ushered into the gates of heaven.

For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me together in my mother's womb
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from You
When I was made in secret
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.
Psalm 139:13-16

I love you with all of my heart....and I will never know you until the fullness of God's time, when we will all see you.

Confirming Ultrasound

A last visit with the RE

I saw my wonderful Reproductive Endocrinologist, Dr. Assad, for my regular Thursday ultrasound.
He checked me and all is complete, I have fully miscarried, which stabs the heart, but is a blessing. We waited on the Lord, and He has answered. The D&C is not needed. I was a little surprised by this news, as this has been by far the easiest physically, yet I was almost twice as far along. I can only attribute it to all of the prayer warriors praying on our behalf, and to the incredible mercy of the Lord.

But oh the stinging, heartbreaking reality of "finished." My heart is broken...and I feel broken beyond repair.

I also consulted with a naturopathic doctor (an ND) and he confirmed that I did everything I could have nutritionally, herbally and detox-wise to prepare myself for pregnancy (my protocol was pretty fanatical - but we achieved pregnancy), during, and after diagnosis, so from a natural perspective and an allopathic perspective, there is no blame, or question, which is quite a comfort. I have always wondered before, what the missing link is, what might that one controllable variable have been, what did I miss, plagued with various stabs of guilt through the process and through the years. Maybe if I had just..... I truly feel the Lord put me on the extreme regimen I adapted prior to getting pregnant, and I am thankful for it. We can look at our baby as a "genetic anomaly" OR we can look at our miracle baby as a precious life that God chose to take early, for His own perfect reasons.

While we did absolutely everything we could to save our baby - God made His own choice as He skillfully wrought our precious little Miracle Baby. Someone wrote me that our baby is in heaven singing "Holy, Holy, Holy" and I love the thought of that, walking those streets of gold.

My heart aches, all of our hearts ache. Yet we have been grieving for 21 days, in the long wait to see if our baby would live, so it is very different from past losses. It has been very therapeutic to create and post to my lens, and put that information out there - so I am sure that has helped tremendously. It has been my obedience, and I find that the more the Lord sees fit to give and take away, as He has done so often these past few years, that the only real comfort is IN the OBEDIENCE He calls for, at that particular season. It is not about us. It is about Him. Ultimately, we are not called to live for self, and I find more and more comfort in an outward focus. If that makes sense. I am not pretending to be super Christian here, but when you have pretty much lost all you once hold dear, over a few years, it really changes you. Just like that song - All I once held dear...

All I once held dear, built my life upon,
All this world reveres and wars to own;
All I once thought gain I have counted loss,
Spent and worthless now compared to this.

Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You
There is no greater thing.
You're my all, You're the best,
You're my joy, my righteousness,
And I love You Lord.

Now my heart's desire is to know You more,
To be found in You and know as Yours,
To possess by faith what I could not earn
All surpassing gift of righteousness

Oh to know the power of Your risen life,
And to know You in Your sufferings;
To become like You in Your death, my Lord,
So with You to live and never die.

Since that first afternoon, this whole thing just keeps coming back to salvation - how profoundly grateful I am to have the Creator of the universe, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, love me, choose me. The rest doesn't really matter. No, I don't necessarily get what I want out of this world, yes the losses have been staggering these past few years, but really, it isn't about self....and losing our Miracle Baby has really broken through some of the last vestiges of pride and self (although the reservoir still churns) and allowed me to crumble in obedience. Through this process, I have finally agreed to downsize, to move into some tiny little house for a season, to get that margin we so desperately need, and walk away from the last shred of our CA life and the end of our life savings. As much as I love my beautiful home, it will be okay, we all are convicted that it is the Lord's will to do this. I have lost two babies here, it will be good to move....as devastating as it will actually be to do it.

Physically, I feel a very sincere tiredness, which is actually alleviated by sleep. Sleep is something I am not good at (nor is my dad, grandmother) so this is a minor miracle, and something that has been foreign to me my entire life. A huge praise! Past miscarriages I have descended into a pit of exhaustion, where I cannot sleep and I cannot rest, and the despair and exhaustion cover me like a cloak and get worse each day I cannot sleep. I read once that it is a nervous exhaustion and that summed it up - no end, I believe it is an adrenal response at the core. No remedy fixes that particular exhaustion for me - no sleep, herbal, natural or pharmaceutical - it is just a pit that eventually passes after about 4-6 weeks.

Please pray that my relatively high energy point of the last two days lasts, and that I can keep going - as opposed to fall into that pit. The Lord has put some rather interesting new windows in our life, and Emily is begging me to walk through one of them and Dave is all for it. I think they are afraid of losing me into the pit, so we shall go forward on them and try a completely different healing strategy this time. I feel on a precipice, if I sink down, I may spiral and lose it, but if I just put one foot in front of the other, I will be okay. We did today, and it felt good, and okay, and healthy. And yes, I will rest and take naps as needed, but I just feel I must go forward, or I will go nuts.

For 21 days I have been at home - only leaving for church, Dr.s appointments and to get groceries - that is not good. Life essentially stopped...I put myself on partial bed rest "just in case." We toned down our life as we waited. We homeschooled, ate bad meals (my love of cooking took a hiatus) I wrote on this lens, and just tried to survive each day of the blighted ovum diagnosis.

We are discussing names for our little Miracle Baby, and will decide on one and officially name her. And we pray that her life in the womb will impact others - give them the courage to wait out their diagnosis, to not raise a hand against God's child within. That our 21 days of waiting with our diagnosis will not be in vain, and that it will save the life of some precious baby, somewhere. We will leave the site up permanently, or for as long as Squidoo allows it http://www.squidoo.com/blightedovumhope/ and continue to post the story as it ends, so women can read it and take in the whole story as they make their own decisions

We have the Lord's answer, clearly and in His perfect time.

And I think that still, small voice is urging me to go on...

Names?

I was taking this all a little too stoically earlier. Yes, I will just get back into life. I don't want to talk to anyone - I just want to get on with life.

Then my friend suggested we name our baby. And my heart broke at a level I did not know existed. Name our baby. Name our Miracle Baby.

We felt that we would have a boy - and have for a long time before we were pregnant. Our pastor was preaching the Sunday before we found out, on Josiah, and Dave and I BOTH had that little Holy Spirit thing go through us, that we would have a Josiah some day. We didn't really say anything to one another, tucked it away, until the next day when my pregnancy test was positive, then confirmed with our MD and we just knew it would be our Josiah. Our name for a girl was Elizabeth Grace, but he was a "he" all the way through, and a baby brother and an uncle for Krista's boys.

But all through the pregnancy, it was the girl stuff I was attracted to. Makes sense with two girls - I know girls! We have done girls and oh how I love my girls. But the last few days, STRONGLY, I have felt it was a girl. Girl, girl, girl comes to mind now, we lost a precious little girl. As I began to actually miscarry - my heart cried out for a baby girl.

Only, our little Miracle Baby is truly our Miracle Baby...and it doesn't feel like it was a Josiah for sure, and it doesn't feel like it was an Elizabeth, so I don't know what to call her....this baby we just lost is neither of the two names.

Do we name her Hope? Hope sums it up so well. She represented so much hope.....she IS our Miracle Baby. When Dave gets home, we will figure it out together.

Perhaps I am just too blinded by grief and am holding on to one of the last things there is left...the name. And yet giving our precious baby a name will just rip the rest of my heart out....

LisaB who grieves that she is no longer pregnant in TN

On naming beloved little babies that die in the womb

I have been sobbing off and on for the last 4 hours. I tried to go to bed, but couldn't stop crying after we prayed, and finally got up to write. My pillow is soaked through and with it being filled with barley hulls, that is just not good. My pajamas are soaked and I am dehydrated. Write. Pour my heart out for the women who go behind me, the women with blighted ovums, misdiagnosed miscarriages, missed abortions, bad ultrasounds needing hope. Perhaps that will calm my soul.

All afternoon, I pondered the name. What can we name our precious little Miracle Baby that seems to be a girl?

Emily and I were on our way to do some historical research. You see, the window I referred to earlier is a book we are thinking of pitching to a publisher of historical books about cities all over America. I found out about the need for someone to write this book Monday night, before I began to miscarry, and wondered if this was a window the Lord had provided to maintain my sanity. I pushed it aside. I am losing my Miracle Baby, who cares about my lifelong dream of writing a book?

Yesterday, I did pretty well emotionally and physically and Emily and I kept discussing the book, and talked more with Dave when he got home. They are 100% for me doing this, and both willing to help. I have to come up with 20 historical postcards pronto and write up a pitch for the book and submit it.

After my doctor's appointment today, I came home and wrote for awhile. Then I began doing research on the book and made some calls. Then we headed out to see if we could find any postcards in the local antique shops. We visited the library, the historical society, the visitors center and many little shops. We were dressed nicely, we were enthusiastic and we were just a mother and a daughter on a historical homeschool mission to collect information. I was not the woman who was miscarrying the Miracle Baby and the little girl who was losing her much wanted sibling. We were just us, Lisa and Emily. And it was nice. 21 days of living the blighted life, disappeared for a few moments, and we were just normal. We enjoyed the gorgeous fall displays of pumpkins and corn stalks, so alive in color and engaging prominent in the South and just had a lovely time trooping through the historical village sleuthing for postcards. We got gigantic cupcakes from a little bakery nestled across from the courthouse and tried to eat them gracefully with forks in the car. We giggled and felt normal....for a few moments.

The name would filter through my mind, but with industry, and being out, it was survivable.

We ended up getting leads to follow up on, a lot of ideas, but it doesn't seem anyone holds out hope we can find enough postcards to pull the book proposal together, let alone the book! Undaunted, we persevered and checked out all of the local history books from the library, and ordered the main history book for our county.

We came home and I blew it, I came up to my computer and began to write and the tears began to flow. It is now 5 hours later, and they are just now drying up. So I can write this big, brave essays, and then it all just sort of crashes down. But so is the nature of grief. I understand God's sovereignty, AND I am still sad.

I talked to my dear physician friend, who had a blighted ovum that she lost at 9 1/2 weeks and she said it so well - "You could have five more kids after this one, and yet you would never HAVE THIS ONE." You never get this baby back. You will always grieve for this baby. And I look at Emily and I crumble. There is only one Emily. What would life have been like without my one Emily? We hugged each other and cried and missed baby horribly.

It seemed we waited an eternity for Dave to come home. Dave had a client after work today, so he got home around 9:30, a very long, difficult day for him.

He ate dinner and we discussed naming the baby. He agreed that Hope was a good name, she represented Hope in it's purest form, she was Hope to her family, she IS Hope forever. Hope.

And my heart broke a little more when I realized I had named this lens blighted ovum hope and that my name on this lens is "hopeful mom."

I go to bed, we pray, and all I can think of is that I want my Hope back. She is gone. Dr. Assad said she is completely gone....gone....gone....

The utter grief cannot be fathomed or explained. There is only one Hope, and she is gone.....

and oh, how every cell in my body aches for Hope...

We do not get the happy ending....

but we are profoundly grateful we did not abort our blighted ovum

Oh how I had hoped to report to you the happy ending...a heartbeat...a healthy pregnancy.

Our little Miracle Baby named Hope is gone.

Vacillating emotions, waves of grief, with an Anchor that holds

He is sure and steadfast in the storm

To our Sunday School care group leader....isn't it amazing how the Lord pours people into your life to love you - even though you are brand new in the state!

Thank you so much for your calls and emails and especially your prayers. Contrary to what it seems, I am not ignoring you - and I do so appreciate your kindness! I think you called when I was at the doctor, and then out again later. I have Bible Study Fri AM and dragged in late today. I missed Pastor and Gene yesterday as well.

Thank you for your prayers, they make a difference. I was okay until the Dr's appt yesterday - and he confirmed that our little Miracle Baby was
gone. We had some commitments yesterday afternoon. When I came home, life stopped and the unbearable tide of grief began to ebb forward and engulfed
me. I ended up crying for 5 hours last night, and all morning this am and then dragged in late to the ladies study - I do look like death warmed over!

I did really good at stoic for a few days and recognizing God's sovereign
will and being okay with it - but when the Dr examined me and said it "was
finished," life began to change. We decided to name her, and somehow, she
has been resolutely a girl, and we chose Hope, our beloved little Hope.
Giving her a name melded into the overwhelming time of grief. All chances
are wholeheartedly over. Beloved Hope is gone. I talked to my good friend
that is an MD who had a blighted ovum 10 years ago and she said it so well,
"It doesn't matter how many more babies you go on to have, you will always
want this one." And we just cried together. So the world has just crashed
down.

So I just write on my lens and pour my little heart out. I tried to send an
update - but by now I am tired of me! Figure folks can look on the lens if
they want to know what is going on, and I continue to post on there for the
future and women who are faced with the interminable wait, as we were, or
making the medically expedient decision and "getting it over" with a D&C.
The Lord chose to have us wait 21 days, and He gave His answer, for which we
are profoundly grateful. And we are so thankful for our little Hope.

God is still on the throne - our baby is singing "Holy, Holy, Holy" in
heaven right now, which another friend wrote me and I love that thought. She
was wonderfully and perfectly made, and skillfully wrought and designed
before the foundation of the world. We just miss her.

And our hearts are just broken right now... Emily is having a rough time -
Dave is just being strangled at work, which occupies his mind and helps him
cope, and he never processes these particularly well anyways.

So I guess that sums it up. As for what you can do, we aren't particularly
good at being receivers, we are much more comfortable being GIVERS, so I
really don't know what to say there.

If folks want to read (my UNedited) lens - it is up still
http://www.squidoo.com/blightedovumhope/ although I decided late last night
that I don't want to be the author of it - because that means I had to live
through it. But alas, God seems to choose us for the more difficult roads
these past few years, but oh how sweet heaven will be after this life on
earth. And how sweet those brief mountaintop experiences are - when He give
us a quick glimpse - like the brief spot of laughter and joy we had, being
pregnant with our beloved Hope.

As Hebrews says in one of my favorite verses - this HOPE we have as an
anchor of our soul, both sure and steadfast, that enters through the veil.
Our baby Hope has entered through the veil. And that picture of hope in the
Bible is of Christ's rock solid grip on us, He is NOT letting go, no matter
what - He is sure and steadfast, He is our anchor and our hope is
steadfastly in Him. In the Civil War, we used the symbol of an anchor as one
of Hope. I just so happened to embroider it into fabric, back when we were
traveling and figuring out where we would settle on this wonderful new
adventure and this brilliant life we imagined we had waiting for us out
here...guess it is time to make it that mini quilt! It is assuredly part of
the tapestry the Lord is weaving in our lives.

Thank you - we are eternally grateful for your kindness -

LisaB! who is just grieving that she is no longer pregnant in TN
but trusting wholeheartedly in the steadfast anchor!

Gluten Intolerance and Blighted Ovum - The Search Begins

The one thing I did not do....

One little nagging detail of information - one little smidge of reality keeps rippling through me, the question of whether or not I am gluten insensitive, gluten intolerant or perhaps have celiac disease. While I do not have many of the traditional symptoms, I have a few very minor ones - and I know the correlation between infertility and gluten issues is huge. We had taken the summer off from "trying" to get pregnant and I had planned to begin testing for gluten issues in the fall. We are new to the area, and I wanted to figure out which local doctors were doing the most accurate tests.

Why worry about this NOW? It is not to blame a doctor or myself. It is for the future. I want to rule out anything and everything I can for my daughter, as well as myself. My health history may impact her. As I said, I had planned to get checked in the fall. Our insurance company is making a career out of denying us for everything - so I was trying to wait to get past the magical ONE YEAR mark, which is Jan 16, 2008, at which point I am fully covered. Until then, I am paranoid to start ANY TESTING OR TREATMENT, as they deny everything for up to 6 months and then pay it telling me they continue to look for pre-existing conditions. We finally have company sponsored insurance and are no longer self employed with comprehensive care (high deductable/nothing covered) and I frankly don't see the difference between the two. We were excited to HAVE insurance and get some of these little quirky questions answered, and then have found we still have to wait almost a year to use it. Gluten testing will not be cheap - so I was trying to begin the process late in this year, and do the actual testing more in January - to be safe.

When we found out the joyful news that we were pregnant, I asked first my primary care physician and told her I suspected I was gluten intolerant and if I should discontinue gluten. She assured me it should be okay, and that whole grains are needed, and that pregnancy was NOT the time to test for gluten intolerance. I asked my OB the same thing at our first meeting a week later, and he reassured me that there was no reason to cut gluten out of my life and agreed that now was no time to test. He said something about grains helping with my extreme all day sickness.

I had a vague sensation that I should skip the gluten, just in case. I did in the beginning of the pregnancy, but found when I broke down and ate bread and raisin bran - that it made a tremendous difference in calming my stomach. No other grain or carb calmed my stomach quite like a quick bowl of raisin bran, or a whole grain English muffin toasted with an egg. As the pregnancy advanced, organic fruit and veggie queen that I am- I could not tolerate my beloved fresh fruits and vegetables. I would throw away perfect, juicy peaches in aversion disgust, let perfect spinach (which I normally crave) go bad. I couldn't tolerate the organic lettuce mixture that makes up a huge part of my diet. I couldn't handle my normal, organic life. Later on, when eating was almost impossible, I did add sourdough bread with cheese (as this was one of the few things I could eat)

I have read about gluten intolerance, celiac and infertility but am now plugging into the search terms specifically with "blighted ovum."

But this is my first clue in the connection between a "blighted ovum" not just miscarriage, and gluten intolerance. http://www.celiaccentral.org/What_is_Celiac_/Personal_Stories/Roberta/324/
.other than to say it was a "blighted ovum" and...to keep trying! By this time we were more than a little frustrated. My third pregnancy was about 7 months later and this time I went to the OB GYN's office excited and hoping to see the baby on the ultrasound with a beating heart. Unfortunately that didn't happen. He saw a "fetal pole" with no heartbeat and I had a D&C. She was later diagnosed with celiac disease.

My RE is referring me for testing now, at my request. A friend from church just so happens to be married to a gastroenterolgist - so she is checking into more information for me.

Here is another tidbit - from an IF patient....I don't have any information to share about environmental issues, but I think you should be tested for celiac disease (via a simple blood test for the presence of three antibodies). Celiac sprue causes recurrent pregnancy loss and is often subclinical - i.e., you can have it without being aware of any symptoms for a long time. Also, consider going on a regimen of one children's aspirin (80 mg) daily, which can help in the event of immune disorders which cause recurrent miscarriages. There is a lot of information about this on the web, and newsgroups such as alt.miscarriage or alt.pregnancy.miscarriage (I forget which it is). Also, see a reproductive endocrinologist. An OB/gyn is not enough (including those who say they ''specialize'' in such issues; they are nowhere near as knowledgeable as they think). Believe me, I've been there. Good luck. Anonymous

Celiac disease linked to repeated miscarriages

By Nancy Deutsch from the Recurrentmiscarriages.com site

Links at recurrent miscarriage about

http://www.recurrentmiscarriages.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=2e111b23041b3fe792f3bf081b854cae&PID=93

Celiac disease linked to repeated miscarriages

By Nancy Deutsch

NEW YORK, Jul 28 (Reuters Health) - Women who experience recurrent miscarriages or those whose fetuses show intrauterine growth retardation may have undiagnosed celiac disease, say Italian researchers.

Celiac disease is a genetic condition that causes those afflicted to experience difficulty absorbing gluten, as found in wheat, oats and barley. Symptoms include diarrhea, abdominal distention, and fatigue. The disorder is common, affecting about 1 in 1,000 people in Europe, the researchers note. And research suggests that more people may have a symptomless, milder form that may often go undetected. Recent studies have indicated that many people are found to have mild forms of the disease when their blood is tested for the condition, even though they were unaware that there was a problem.

In their letter in the July 29th issue of The Lancet, doctors from Gemelli Hospital in Rome suggest that women who experience repeat miscarriages, also known as recurrent spontaneous abortions (RSA) or intrauterine growth retardation (IUGR)--a condition in which a baby is born significantly smaller than normal--may have celiac disease that has gone undetected. In their letter, the researchers, led by Dr. Antonio Gasbarrini, explain that they decided to look at celiac disease since it is a common cause of malabsorption of food in western countries. And for some time, miscarriages have been correlated with celiac disease, Gasbarrini told Reuters Health. Gasbarrini and colleagues conducted blood tests for the condition in 44 patients with RSA, 39 with IUGR, and 50 healthy women. None of the healthy women were found to have celiac disease, but the condition was detected in 8% (3) of the women with RSA and 15% (6) of those with IUGR.

Biopsy samples from the intestine confirmed diagnosis in eight of nine patients whose blood tested positive for the disease. "Our results suggest that women having recurrent miscarriages or intrauterine growth retardation could have subclinical celiac disease," the authors write.

Dr. Cynthia S. Rudert, an Atlanta gastroenterologist and founding member of the Celiac Disease Standardization Group said that she certainly agrees that "malabsorption could lead to IUGR."

Celiac disease has been correlated with infertility, and with other conditions, including birth defects in children whose mothers could not absorb folic acid while pregnant because they had undiagnosed celiac disease, she said. It makes sense that the condition could lead to other problems related to too little nutritional intake, she pointed out. Spontaneous abortions could feasibly result if the mother was failing to absorb vitamins and minerals required by the baby, she explained. If celiac disease is responsible for some of these problems, it is easily treatable by avoiding products containing gluten, Rudert told Reuters Health.

Whether removing gluten from the diet will help some of these women with RSA carry their babies to term or reduce the rate of IUGR is not yet known, the Italian researchers conclude. They are conducting studies to further examine this, Gasbarrini told Reuters Health.

Celiac Disease --> Higher Miscarriage Rates

Gynecol Obstet Invest 2001;51:3-7

Celiac disease (gluten-sensitive enteropathy) may manifest clinically with an array of nongastrointestinal symptoms among which are:

dermatitis herpetiformis
osteoporosis
dementia
osteomalacia
depression
dental enamel defects
various neurological symptoms
anemia of various types

Important data have accumulated in recent years regarding the association between celiac disease, fertility and pregnancy. Many primary care obstetricians and gynecologists and
perinatologists are not aware of these important relationships.

The aim of this review, utilizing a MEDLINE search from 1966 through March 2000 of the English language, is to describe the possible effects of celiac disease and its treatment upon the reproductive cycle, fertility, pregnancy, and menopause. Review of the literature reveals that patients with untreated celiac disease sustain a significantly delayed menarche, earlier menopause, and an increased prevalence of secondary amenorrhea.

Patients with untreated celiac disease incur:

* higher miscarriage rates
* increased fetal growth restriction
* lower birth weights

It appears that improvement of celiac disease, as reflected by restoration of small bowel mucosa associated with implementation of a gluten-free diet, may decrease miscarriage rates, improve fetal nutritional support and overall perinatal outcome.

Gynecol Obstet Invest 2001;51:3-7

The Story of Isabella Love

...born still on earth, alive with Jesus, August 13th, 2007 ....

What a beautiful story, of a homeschooling family who lost their precious Isabella. Please pray for this precious family with staggering medical bills.

We lost our Isabella Love at 26 weeks last month. Our website is going to be used to help other women who have gone through the same thing. It's not complete, but you can read our full story there.

Isabella Love Brodsky, born still on earth, alive with Jesus, August 13th, 2007
www.isabellalove.com
www.brodskyministries.com
"Homeschooling, Home Business, Homemaking, Home Church - Home is at the Center in All we do"
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away. - Rev. 21:4

What I Said at My Granddaughter%u2019s Funeral

John Piper shares

What I Said at My Granddaughter's Funeral
September 26, 2007
John Piper shares seven ways that he has felt the loss of his granddaughter, Felicity Margaret Piper.

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee/ByDate/2007/2406_What_I_Said_at_My_Granddaughters_Funeral/

Our Children In Heaven ~ An ebook ministry of Jim Erskine

www.OurChildrenInHeaven.com (website to get your free copy)

Our Children In Heaven
by James Maple, DD * Revised and Edited by Jim Erskine
Republished by Homeway Press

from the Preface: CHILDREN are as a ray of sunshine in our homes, bringing joy and gladness. They come as angels of innocence and beauty, awakening new thoughts, kindling holier feelings, leading us to a higher and better life. A home without children, to me, is like heaven without angels; but our dear ones are not safe from the hand of disease and death. Truly the poet sings:

...there is no flock, however watched and tended
But one dead lamb is there.
There is no fireside, howsoever defended,
But has one vacant chair!

What a difference the death of a child makes in our hearts and homes. How it changes the tone of our thoughts and takes the warmth and beauty out of life.

How the little children love us, and no traces
Linger of that smiling angel band.
Gone, forever gone, and in their places
Weary men and anxious women stand.

The sermons embraced in this little book were written and preached at different and distant periods in a ministry of forty-five years, to comfort sorrowing parents who were mourning the loss of their dear little ones by the hand of death. They are now given to the public with the hope that they may be a comfort to many bleeding hearts.
-- James Maple, DD, January 25, 1890
Originally published in 1890, this completely forgotten little book by Dr. James Maple has truly been lost for decades. Yet its pages contain a well-spring of comfort for all who have lost loved ones, little or old, to death. When we discovered it on the dusty shelf of an antique shop (the owner did not even know he had it), we knew that we had to make it available to hurting families again. It is our hope that you will find these messages a sweet balm for aching hearts.

This newly revised edition is Copyright 2007 by Homeway Press, but we are making the PDF ebook version available completely free of charge from this website. http://www.OurChildrenInHeaven.com (to get your free copy)

Without Purpose

Without a purpose, life is motion without meaning, activity without direction, and events without reason. Without a purpose, life is trivial, petty and pointless.

-- Rick Warren

Miscarriage Protocol - How to regain emotional & physical health after miscarriage

Beyond Prozac - Healing your body naturally after losing a precious baby

How does one begin to recover physically and emotionally from a miscarriage? I was very afraid of the pit I would fall into and when I was first diagnosed with the blighted ovum and while we waited those 21 days, I also began to prepare a plan for what I could do health wise IF we lost the baby. Be very clear that I continued 100% baby nurturance until I began to miscarry - as I wanted to give our baby every chance.

Once the Reproductive Endocrinologist confirmed that it "was finished" and my heart broke...it was time to change strategies and prepare my body to heal. This was critical because I traditionally descend into an almost indescribably exhausted, overwhelmed, depressed, pit of despair and despondency. It is as if life stops for quite some time.

I have TRIED TO research precisely what to do to nourish your body back to health after a miscarriage and it seems I find references to anti-depressants and rest. I look and look and find nothing concrete for miscarriage aftercare. I find tons in what to do with a threatened miscarriage, but little to nothing for afterwards. I have asked on different groups I am on and have not gotten a response. There seems to be a very specific dearth of information on miscarriage aftercare - no wonder it is so easy to descend into a pit.

So beloved ladies who have just had a miscarriage, hopefully you will find some hope in what I write. This is not my favorite time, as I am sure it is not yours - but I am convinced that the Lord is molding and shaping us.

For fellow moms who have lost their precious babies - do not underestimate what is happening PHYSICALLY within your body. We have emotional grieving, that is easily seen and felt. People seem able to handle that a bit and give advice (which usually rolls through the "try an anti-depressant" variety). Thanks, but no thanks. I just lost my beloved baby, it is OKAY to grieve. It is OKAY to feel a huge sense of loss. We have just lost our babies.

Let's consider what truly happens to a woman's body physically, when she is carrying a precious little one, and loses that baby is not unlike what happens at birth. Your hormones are in an upheaval. Depending on where you were in the pregnancy, you were producing many different hormones to maintain the baby, including progesterone -- pro-gest(ation) hormone, which is often dubbed the "feel good hormone." Your hormone levels could be wildly vacillating with huge ups and downs. After a steady stream of pregnancy inspired flow, it is not a stretch to realize that a quick bottoming out of hormones can trigger massive upheaval. It is possible your iron stores are low (bleeding through the miscarriage).

You are depleted physically from losing the baby and the stress that goes along with it. This physical depletion adds to mental fatigue - which can add to emotional instability and that is without any unusual circumstances.

When I miscarry, I make it a point to be VERY careful about making any long term decisions. Truth be told, when I miscarry - I just do not have coping skills AT ALL -for a time (the pit). You may be different, but chances are, you are having major issues caused simply by the physical changes, hormone surges and absolute bottoms, sways and pulls in your body. A precise symphony of hormones was just interrupted, and the body takes time to recover from that. It is best to put off making major decisions for awhile.

When our female hormones are out of whack, it can knock out thyroid and adrenal systems and we can go into a physical funk which jettisons emotional/mental health and leaves us unable to cope. Adrenal fatigue sets in and exhaustion and a bleakness. This can all add up to depression...and we can stay in this state for months and it can eventually resolve OR stretch to years if we don't nourish our bodies OUT of it.

My personal opinion and experience has been that just "taking an anti-depressant" is NOT going to fix this thing. Sure, it gives temporary relief, but really, what is wrong with grieving the death of a dream? Does the anti-depressant FIX the hormonal issue and the adrenal issues? Does it fix the flagging endocrine system? Or is it a band aid - a quick thing to take so other folks will feel a bit better and feel secure that you are "doing something." It is possible to "wake up" from the anti-depressant years later, with the underlying endocrine issues not fixed.

Dear sisters - be aware that many who miscarry are going to have a physical reaction along with emotional and mental and those reactions can decrease our coping ability. You may be spared this -but it is highly unlikely that it won't affect you to some degree. This is my 4th miscarriage and I know that I am not good at decision immediately after - and all those periods pass by in a blur - an unrecognizable blur lasting about 4-6 weeks for me.

I pray that you will consider this, with your husband pray through it and give yourself grace, and consider giving any untoward situations in your life a bit of grace - by giving ALL a break from it. Lean on your husband's wisdom right now. Sometimes that is not possible, we are already facing powder kegs waiting to blow - perhaps it is time to clear them out - but at the same time - tread carefully. It is easy for things to seem OVERWHELMING and IMPOSSIBLE as one is recovering from a miscarriage....and to not react in ways we normally would (which often is adrenal burnout). With adrenal burnout - you simply CANNOT cope like you normally would.

I would be SO THANKFUL if anyone had additional information from a midwife or someone else on this - and email me. Can you talk to your midwife about this? Did she recommend any aftercare for you - herbs, etc.? And please, please tell me what she rec so I may try it and post it for the women who may read this years from now!

Beloved sojourner in the heartbreaking club of miscarriage, I am sending you a hug and prayers that the Lord will guide you. Pray through what I write, do not take it as gospel and ONLY use it if the Lord whispers it is good for YOU.

I beg you do be easy on yourself and those around you. Allow all situations time. Don't transfer grief to anger. PRAY that the Lord will reveal what He wants you to do to your husband and then sit back and TRUST the Lord, praying for your husband the whole while. He will reveal to your hubby what needs to be done....just try and leave it between those two (he is the leader after all). My husband has made some amazingly OBEDIENT decisions when I do this (without my interference) that we know are the Lord. And I am relieved of stress in the short term leading up to the decision -the "men" can work it out (our Father in heaven and hubby)!

Another hug - do not give up - just nourish yourself. I am praying for you.

Part 2 - Beyond Prozac - Healing your body naturally after losing a precious baby

How Herbs, Amino Acids & Nutrition Can Help Heal the Body After a Miscarriage

Part 2 - Beyond Prozac - Healing your body naturally after losing a precious baby, How Herbs, Amino Acids & Nutrition Can Help Heal the Body After a Miscarriage

I have had the worst time trying to find appropriate aftercare for my miscarriage and am posting what I am doing. This is my own personal protocol. I am not a physician, nurse, or health care professional. I am a mom who has been studying health, nutrition and herbs for over 20 years. I read about 5 health magazines monthly, read about 2 dozen books from different authors on health, natural healing and supplements each year, and research a lot on line. This has been my practice for years. With comprehensive care insurance, I was the front line of defense for my family and I made it a point to try and keep them as healthy as could be. (My 13 year old has been on antibiotics once in the last 10 years for what they thought was a spider bite, I took them once for a tooth that cracked and had a raging infection and hubby hasn't taken them in years - and we don't currently take pharmaceuticals beyond my compounded progesterone, which is debatable on whether or not it is a true pharm!) I would highly recommend you check with your own physician, midwife or health care practitioner to create your own protocol.

My single biggest criteria is realizing that I had to nourish my body to health in order to conceive - and I realize I will have to nourish my body back to health after losing our beloved Miracle Baby Hope. We got pregnant with a very precise regimen of vitamins, minerals, healing foods, maximum nutrition, cleanses, and exercise. Obviously, I believe the Lord opens and closes the womb, and life is ultimately in His perfect, sovereign hands. But he often requires action, and and the routine I adapted to get pregnant was bathed in a lot of prayer and based on years of research. I didn't just casually try a few things.

Many of us feel that our only alternative is a cornucopia of pharmaceuticals. If you are willing to spend the copays or full price on meds - why not consider spending a similar amount on a vitamin regimen, healing foods along with an amino acid regimen?

I would imagine there are MULTIPLE contributing causes to all of our miscarriages, but the reality is, we all want to 1) not be so exhausted and have refreshing sleep 2) feel physically better 3) stop the pain 4) have clarity - so you can be the wife, mother and woman God created you to be and 5) get our bodies back into health so we can potentially conceive again and carry to term. If the natural alternatives don't work, you can always choose to go on to the pharmaceuticals. But first consider other strategies that work better and RETURN YOUR BODY TO HEALTH - which is really what the missing link is. Begin to restore the health and the vitality begins to return and when the vitality begins to return - then your thinking clears and you are better able to cope and BE who God created you!

I am right along with you, trying to figure out the BEST course right now to take. How do I stay out of that pit - that death like grip on me that I have had the last 3 times? I could get multiple prescriptions right now AND just take them - no problem. But I have prayed about it and feel the Lord is showing me a different path - and I will happily, happily share it with you.

We all want the best for our bodies and sometimes the best is a COMBINATION of resources. I pray you will prayerfully consider what I have written, and do your own research about the highly effective natural options (which do take time, but can permanently fix).

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*My Protocol~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

AMINO ACIDS

A few years ago, after going through a particularly stressful time, I discovered two books The Mood Cure and The Diet Cure which combined a personal amino acid program while boosting protein intake and found a substantial brain boost, alleviating much of the extra stress that could have easily headed into depression (we were getting our home ready to move cross country to our new life in TN and I was sad about leaving) The amino acid program has helped folks break drug addictions and is incredibly powerful www.moodcure.com/ and take the Mood Cure. I began taking the amino acids a week after the miscarriage started and truly believe they gave IMMEDIATE HELP. Currently taking first thing in the AM on an empty stomach:
Sun Theanine
L-Tyrosine
L-Glutamate

Also taking with breakfast........
~Rescue Remedy Homeopathic drops in AM
~Organic PRENATAL Vitamins Wildcrafted
~Vitamin B Complex Trader Joe's
~Vitex (Chasteberry)
~ 1/4 teaspoon Siberian Ginseng (temp adaptagen) Eleutherococcus senticosus
~Vitamin C with Bioflavinoids Or Emer-gen-C
~Eye Formula full of anti-oxidants

Evening Routine (at bedtime)
~Omega 3's
~Magnesium Malate by Source Naturals
~Wild yam capsules Nature's Sunshine
~Melatonin

I am also adding Virgin Coconut Oil to my diet to up my metabolism and help with healing. Continuing on the whole foods, mainly organic food, lots of veggies and fruits. Just got stuff tonight to begin juicing again (although I find I have to go to farmer's market and 3 stores to get what I need)

Preventing Miscarriage - Herbal Ideas

Excellent article - read it in full here http://www.alive.com/2862a9a2.php?subject_bread_cramb=159

Miscarriage

When the ovaries do not produce enough progesterone and the estrogen level remains too high, the baby is put in jeopardy. Herbal remedies can normalize these essential hormones.

* Ginseng and sarsaparilla can help the body to produce progesterone. Take 1 capsule of sarsaparilla or a mixture of both.

* Natural progesterone cream helps balance progesterone levels. Rub it into fatty tissue areas such as the hips and thighs for optimal absorption.

* Throughout the day, sip a tea made from Mexican wild yam, ginger, winter clover and raspberry leaves to help prevent miscarriage. Add 1 tsp. of herbs to 1 cup of boiling water, steep, strain and drink 3 cups daily.

Homeopathy

Treatment of a miscarriage should always be guided by a professional. The remedies below can be used while waiting for help, using the 6c strength and repeating every fifteen minutes for three doses then hourly as needed until the bleeding stops. One dose is 2 tablets placed under the tongue.

* If an accident has caused shock or physical injury, Arnica will be of help.

* Aconite is an alternative; if a shock has caused fright with great *anxiety and restlessness.

* Choose Belladonna if the bleeding is bright red and the *pains are terrible, and worsened by the least jarring motion. The face is typically hot and red.

* Pulsatilla is recommended if the bleeding stops but recurs, worsening each time. The pains are cramping, the blood is dark and clotted.

* Sabina is often indicated in miscarriages, when the bleeding is bright red, mixed with clots and pain gets worse from motion. Use Sabina when the pains extend from the lower back to the pubic area. Sabina also helps if the placenta is retained after a miscarriage.

Chlorophyll-Rich Foods and Wheat Germ: Preventing Neonatal Intracranial Hemorrhage, Spontaneous Abortion and Miscarriage in At-R

Chlorophyll-Rich Foods and Wheat Germ: Preventing Neonatal Intracranial Hemorrhage, Spontaneous Abortion and Miscarriage in At-Risk Women - Medicinal Properties in Whole Foods - Brief Article
Townsend Letter for Doctors and Patients, Jan, 2002 by Gina L. Nick

"Functional foods," "nutraceuticals," "designer foods" and "medical foods" are terms that describe foods, and key ingredients isolated from foods, that have non-nutritive or tertiary functional properties. Researchers, healthcare practitioners, laypersons, and the popular media use these words interchangeably. The purpose of this article is to detail valid scientific information available on key lipophilic compounds found in wheat germ and chlorophyll-rich foods that may help to prevent neonatal intracranial hemorrhage, spontaneous abortion and miscarriage in at-risk women.

Key lipophilic compounds in chlorophyll-rich foods and wheat germ may function to prevent neonatal intracranial hemorrhage, spontaneous abortion and miscarriage in at-risk women.
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0ISW/is_2002_Jan/ai_81138245/pg_1

Waiting for the Blood Test after Miscarriage

16 vials of blood drawn on Thursday, Day 3 of my first cycle post miscarriage, with a blighted ovum diagnosis. I am so thankful I did not have coffee with coconut cream, as I so desired, as it was a fasting test!

It took a full 5 weeks to start my cycle. I actually spotted for a few days before starting, and so had to call my physician to see exactly WHEN Day 3 would be. The last thing I wanted to do was blow this test!

Waiting for results...

6 Weeks After the Miscarriage

Yesterday was a very bad day. I was just totally out of sorts, very weepy, missing home in California, the people in California, our LIFE in California - missing it all. That was just the surface pain - I was really just reeling from all the loss. It was a particularly difficult day.

But it passed. Emily and I just mourned and grieved together, then we determined that we were NOT going to let that ONE day mesh into others...and that we were not going to let it be a string of days, which became a month, with depression setting in.

No blood results yet.

Blood results for the After Miscarriage Panel

Well, the post miscarriage blood results are in. I had 16 vials drawn on Day 3 of my first cycle after losing our beloved baby Hope. After two days of phone tag, I have some answers. As always, my blood looks great - don't know if there are any answers yet as to WHY the miscarriages keep happening. But for now my blood levels are very good, and it is a positive sign for future conception.

Make no mistake, a deliberate diet reaps health,and it is a passion of mine! Learn more about this at www.theprudentwife.com

Miscarriage Natural Healing -- Bentonite Clay and Psyllium Fiber shakes

At week 6, post miscarriage, I began on the further journey of trying to naturally heal by beginning back on the Bentonite Clay and Psyllium Fiber shakes I was drinking each morning before the miracle pregnancy. Both are cleansing, and I need it right now. My body is simply not functioning normally, and I need to get things back on track. I am still tired, lethargic, and feeling the sluggishness of winter knocking on my door. I want to do another juice fast, which followed my last clay/fiber routine...but am not sure about a whole foods am juice fast and cleanse in the autumn chill....

Autumn Morning Whole Juice Cleanse

For more great recipes visit www.theprudentwife.com

As the leave s are slowly turning into crisp golds, vibrant orange and tangy red, the weather getting cooler and the fog beginning to come out over the lake in full force, I know I need to do another juice fast and I have, quite frankly, been dreading it. I love the fresh produce that bursts forth in spring and summer and enjoy all of the combinations!

But a fall juice fast??? My initial internal whining was that it was simply too cold for a juice fast. When the leaves are turning, it heralds the season of steaming hot bowls of organic oatmeal topped with flaxseed, hot whole grain cereals, eggs and other warming breakfasts. Another AM juice fast seems so stark, cold and wholly devoid of the seasonal change to celebrate! Ahhh, but health is a thing to celebrate indeed, and an autumn AM juice fast it is!

So what did I make? You can visit www.theprudentwife.com for MORE fabulous whole food juicing smoothie recipes, cleanses, and information that will help you begin your own prudent journey.

Autumn Morning Whole Juice Cleanse

* I piece of celery organic
* 1organic carrot
* 3 handfuls of organic spinach
* 1/2 an organic apple
* 3-5 sprigs of parsley
* 1/4 organic lemon, with peel (the white part has a lot of vitamin C)
* 1/2 small beet
* 1/2 inch piece of ginger
* About a cup of water OR if you can endure it half water and half ice.

As with all of the Prudent Wife's whole food juice recipes, whir in the Vita-Mix and make sure you grind up WELL! Add a bit more water if needed, to make it a relatively smooth, frothy juice. (I opted out of the ice, too cold) This gives me two large glasses of juice and is equivalent to 3-5 servings of veggies, depending on how many I put in. Divide in half, and drink the first and feel the immediate energy as you drink it. Save the leftover juice and refrigerate and drink midmorning for a delicious snack.

It has been about 4 months since I last juice fasted and it is almost as if my body was begging for the healing tonic of juice. Despite the chill outside, when I drank it this frosty November morning, and I know it is cleansing my body beautifully and it is worth skipping a few hot breakfsasts! Physically, trying to recover from the miscarriage, I know that I need to do this - and it felt SO GOOD this morning! I would really encourage you to try it!

Join the Prudent Wife Membership Site

Learn how to save time, money and sanity in your home www.theprudentwife.com

Prudent Wife Membership Information

House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. Proverbs 19:14
Launching November 15, 2007
When you join the Prudent Wife Membership Site, you have total access to...

* The Prudent Wife Bible Study (Increment 1, coming soon!)
* Signature How To Video Library
* How to Create Fabulous Food with 15 Minute Meals, Everyday Organic, Once a Month Cooking, Mexican and California Cuisine, Entertaining includes ideas and recipes for Weddings, Anniversaries, Tea Parties and more!
* Maximum Nutrition with an eye toward the future - Explore Fresh Farmer's Market Foods, Delicious Vita-Mix Recipes in a Flash, Adding Healthy Whole Foods, Fun Juicing and Smoothie Recipes, Brain Building Recipes, Heart Healthy, Cleanses and more!
* Learn how to create Vibrant Health in your family - explore a wide variety of Healthcare Alternatives, Natural Remedies, Natural Antibiotics, Women's Natural Health Alternatives, The Benefits of Juicing and Juice Fasts, Dental Health, and even great articles and ideas for Dog Health!
* The Art of Simplicity ~ Creating a Simple, God Honoring Life with Margin!
* Homekeeping, Going Green, Living On ONE Income and so much more!
* Seasonal Ideas, Holiday Traditions
* New recipes, videos, articles and content added weekly

The Prudent Wife is a new website based on the prudent wife of scripture. Signature how-to videos explode open easy cooking techniques with simple meals and maximum nutrition. Enjoy the healthy recipe archives with fabulous food, strategies for incorporating maximum nutrition leading to vibrant health, how to create restaurant favorites at home, natural alternatives and women's health, simplicity, homekeeping, decorating on a dime, seasonal ideas, a Prudent Wife Bible Study & more! When you join The Prudent Wife Membership Site you will learn the concepts of creating your own prudent journey and how to save time, money and sanity in your home as you go GREEN, saving $$ and the environment while honoring the Lord with your homekeeping and living on ONE income!! The Lord has an individual journey for all of us! Sign up for our FREE weekly newsletter full of prudent tips!

Join us and create your OWN prudent journey
Half price introductory special
only $12 a year
(for a limited time! $24 regularly)

Make just ONE recipe or project from The Prudent Wife and you will more than pay for your membership each year! Join today and begin your prudent journey along with us.

Appt for Gluten Testing ~ Explore the Link Between Gluten, Miscarriage and Infertility

Brave new world....

After watching a show on gluten intolerance, and my daughter saying, "You have ALL of those," I decided to make an appt. Still not sure if I need to wait out the whole year of "pre-existing" with our insurance, as they seem to deny everything. I have never been diagnosed with any food allergy by a doctor, so should be fine. However...ANY medical test nerves me out at this point.

Well, I called half a dozen doctors yesterday, to try and find someone locally who can help me establish whether or not I have a true "gluten intolerance" I tried allergy and immunology, gasteroenterology and a few others. Wow - not a lot of information in this area about gluten intolerance and they all acted like it was no big deal. Yes it IS a big deal. No, I don't want some flakey skin prick test to tell me. I want a doctor who is passionate to find answers and who is going to do what it takes to get to the bottom of this.

I did speak to a nutritionist AT a local integrated health center in the area who IS passionate about food allergies, and does testing in conjunction with the physicians. Physician wait for new patients - April 2008 (it is Nov 13). Nurse practitioner wait, tomorrow. So I will go in tomorrow and see what I can find out.

Depression creeping up, 7 weeks post miscarriage

Is it hormones? Seasonal Affective Disorder? Thyroid? Depression?

For now, I am really beginning to struggle with depression the last week or so and I am increasingly COLD. I begin to shiver around 3pm and shiver until bed in a room that is 70 degrees. While not doing a BBT straight out of bed, I am struggling with low body temperatures in the low 97's about an hour after waking (as I drink my organic decaf coffee) so who KNOWS what the BBTs are straight out of bed. I wear long sleeves, a jacket (and was wearing the hood trying to keep the cold out), jeans and socks and shoes. At night I wear two pairs of pajamas and we have an extra heater in our bedroom (we have 14 foot ceilings, in a huge, north facing master). My family is fine, not cold at all - and I am freezing. It is exceptionally difficult to be cold all day long. As the cold begins to take over, and creep in, I wonder if I am also beginning to struggle with the SAD, or Seasonal Affective Disorder.

As ever, I am going to try and battle it with discipline and natural strategies. I have been OUT of amino acids, so have not been taking those, which I think is a large part of the slipping mood, the feeling like a failure, the wishy-washyness of life. We are on a tight budget and I simply do not have the money to chase natural and herbals remedies like I have in the past, so am praying on my best strategy.

That said, I do have things I can do at home to alleviate those feelings of doom! I am trying to battle the depression with a new cleanse as outlined above, beginning with bentonite clay and psyllium fiber shakes for a week, and now adding the Autumn AM whole juice fast whirred up in my Vita-Mix blender. My body has just gone through a pregnancy and a miscarriage - a cleanse is in order to get things moving optimally and restore maximum nutrition through the whole juicing. (read more at my website www.theprudentwife.com on juicing)

I am currently taking vitamins (but slacking truthfully and not doing it daily). I am taking 1000 mg Vitamin D as winter is approaching. But truthfully, I do not have the cash to purchase the full winter arsenal that I would need to battle this. This is where life gets hard, a prescription or two would do the trick, at $10 per, as opposed to about $200 worth of HFS supplements and herbs.

We began exercising again yesterday, with just one lap around our block, which is 1/3 of a mile. It is not much, but it IS movement and it is better to do SOMETHING, rather than nothing. Getting back to doing Oxycise would also help with mood, but have not started it yet.

If all of these "personal responsibility" things do NOT work, I will get additional testing and consider meds. I made an appt with to check some of this out. I think the COLD thing is the most difficult right now.

Iodine deficiency and reproductive failure

2 or more unexplained abortions (that would be miscarriages)

Iodine deficiency and reproductive failure

A case-control study was done in Central India to study iodine status in women with unexplained reproductive wastage and normal fertile controls. The study group consisted of women with two or more unexplained abortions, two or more unexplained stillbirths, or two or more unexplained neonatal losses. Iodine nutritional status was estimated by urinary iodine excretion. Some 91% of the study group had varying degrees of iodine deficiency, compared with 76% of controls (p < 0.001). Women with reproductive insufficiency were more likely to have goiter compared with controls (37.9% vs 16. 1%). These findings support other research suggesting that iodine deficiency can cause reproductive failure.

COMMENT: Of the numerous causes of infertility and reproductive failure, iodine deficiency is usually overlooked. The addition of iodine to table salt has largely eradicated iodine deficiency in the United States. However, some individuals deliberately consume a low-salt diet for health reasons. These people may be at risk for developing subtle iron deficiency.

Chhabra S, Hora A. Reproductive insufficiency in women with iodine deficiency. J Obstet Gynaecol 1996; 16:242-243.
http://www.dcnutrition.com/Minerals/Detail.CFM?RecordNumber=73

Infertility Watch - Correlation Between Ovarian Cyst and Thyroid

Treating Physical Problems

Cysts, endometriosis and fibroids are three conditions that are associated with difficulty conceiving. Many cases may be treated herbally. Cysts are swellings in the lining of the membrane, filled with fluid or semi-fluid material. They usually develop on the tubes or the ovaries. Herbs used here may include Calendula, Blue Flag, Echinacea, Celery, Licorice, Chaste Tree and Red Clover. Because there seems to be some correlation between cyst development and thyroid dysfunction, a thyroid tonic could be included.

Hmmmmm....would have been nice to know this about 19 years ago when I struggled continuously with ovarian cysts.... Might be new information -but will continue to track this down.
Found at http://www.stillpointhealth.com/fdfd.html

How I have felt since losing the baby....

Napoleon Hill ~ Yesterday and Today

Drifting, without aim or purpose, is the first cause of failure.

Without a plan for your life, it is easier to follow the course of least resistance, to go with the flow, to drift with the current with no particular destination in mind. Having a definite plan for your life greatly simplifies the process of making hundreds of daily decisions that affect your ultimate success. When you know where you want to go, you can quickly decide if your actions are moving you toward your goal or away from it. Without definite, precise goals and a plan for their achievement, each decision must be considered in a vacuum. Definiteness of purpose provides context and allows you to relate specific actions to your overall plan.

Oh my - this is actually quite good! Much more eloquent but the same heart issue is addressed - If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

Since first finding out that I was pregnant with our Miracle Baby, through the blighted ovum diagnosis, to the 21 day wait, surviving the miscarriage, I feel like I have put all of my hopes and dreams on hold. It feels too difficult to HAVE any right now. Do not get me wrong, I am not sitting around feeling sorry for myself all day - but I am aimlessly drifting, one day is melding into another without a tremendous SENSE of accomplishment. I am not passionately working on goals or projects, but rather ho-humming through life.

Lord give me freedom from apathy and reignite my passion for You, for YOUR perfect will in my life. I give you the crushed hopes and dreams, the feelings of failure, the greatly disappointing year. You can have my schedule, please help me redeem my time again, and move forward.

Thanksgiving Quotes

Who does not thank for little will not thank for much."
--Estonian proverb

The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings! --Henry Ward Beecher

Thank God every day when you get up that you have something to do that day which must be done whether you like it or not. Being forced to work and forced to do your best will breed in you temperance and self-control, diligence and strength of will, cheerfulness and content, and a hundred virtues which the idle will never know.
--Basil Carpenter

O Lord, that lends me life, Lend me a heart replete with thankfulness! -- William Shakespeare

One distinguishing mark of an unregenerate man is ingratitude. -- E. J. Conrad

Perhaps it takes a purer faith to praise God for unrealized blessings than for those we once enjoyed or those we enjoy now. -- A. W. Tozer

Do The Next Thing

Author unknown

DO THE NEXT THING

At an old English parsonage down by the sea,
There came in the twilight a message to me.
Its quaint Saxon legend deeply engraven
That, as it seems to me, teaching from heaven.
And all through the hours the quiet words ring,
Like a low inspiration, do the next thing.

Many a questioning, many a fear,
Many a doubt hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from heaven,
Time, opportunity, and guidance are given.
Fear not tomorrows, child of the King,
Trust them with Jesus, do the next thing.

Do it immediately, do it with prayer;
Do it reliantly, casting all care.
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand,
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe 'neath His wing,
Leave all results, do the next thing.

Looking to Jesus, ever serener,
Working or suffering be thy demeanor;
In His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
The light of His countenance, be thy psalm,
Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing.
Then, as He beckons, do the next thing.

6 Vials of Blood drawn for more testing

Dragged down with a MIGRAINE for a FASTING blood draw

Trying to get to the bottom of the tired feeling - I had another 6 vials of blood drawn yesterday (Nov 26) and will have my next appt Dec 14 to discuss things.

Checking all the regulars, plus Vit B, estradial, progesterone (female hormones), etc. I did not get a copy of the order to know exactly what is on it!

For some reason - the blood draw itself really HURT. This is not normally an issue. It still hurts pretty bad today.

Next testing round after the miscarriage - ABS screening

One month until testing -

The next round of blood work to get to the bottom of the never ending round of why the multiple miscarriages includes the Antiphospholipid AB Screen which has
Cardiolipin ABS, IGG, IGA, IGM
Dilute Russell Viper Venom
LA Comprehensive Profile

Wow - they will actually mix my blood with the venom from a Russell Viper, "based on the ability of the venom of the Russell's viper to induce thrombosis." Wow! Is that not creepy? View the creepy crawler at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dilute_Russell's_viper_venom_time

Insurance Dance

Waiting out the blighted ovum diagnosis....

Praise the Lord, the insurance paid for the first ultrasound! While we were going through the blighted ovum diagnosis, it was unclear whether the insurance would pay for EACH of the weekly ultrasounds. Week after week, I would go in and sign a paper agreeing to pay if BCBS did not pay. $200, $400, $600....they quickly add up. Plus the additional physician visits and blood work, it all adds up. Week by week, we were looking for the heartbeat of our precious baby, and as hope dripped close, the thought of paying for all of the care nagged silently in the back of our minds. What a praise!

It should be noted that we had comprehensive care medical insurance for almost 10 years, which meant that we paid for insurance each month, yet had a $1000 deductible, no prescription coverage, and an 80/20 plan. In ten years (and well over $10,000 paid in premiums) we never had a single claim paid for!

Which is part of what fueled The Prudent Wife, www.theprudentwife.com

LET THIS REALLY SINK IN - THEN CHOOSE

John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

He replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood I choose to be in a good mood."

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of LIFE .

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes, it is," he said. "Life is all about choices When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood.

You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."

I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back. I saw him about six months after the accident.

When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins...Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone throug h his mind as the accident took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," he replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness ?" I asked He continued, "..the paramedics were great.

They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action." "What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said John. "She asked if I was allergic to anything 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'."

Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34.

After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

I would have been 6 months pregnant...

Right to life Sunday

I would have been 6 months pregnant. Today is hard. It is Right To Life Sunday at church.

It is so easy to talk about abortion when it is in the context of abortion clinics. That happens to other people and we have counselors who can help...

But what about the families like ours, who went to great lengths to have another baby, who get miraculously pregnant, then are told that something is WRONG, told that their ultrasound shows their baby will die, and that their only choice is a D&C, or the Pill that will end it all. What about us? Do you not realize that physicians recommend abortion daily, only it is sanitized as a "D&C" and the woman is encouraged to get one so she does not have to wait for the inevitable.

95% of the Down's babies are aborted now. 95%! If there is anything wrong with ANY test during pregnancy, you are quickly ushered into "counseling" and counseled to get a medically expedient D&C. Why is no one hollering about THAT on Right To Life Sunday?

Women are being duped into abortion, make no mistake about it, by well meaning physicians.

It breaks my little unpregnant heart.

New study links caffeine and miscarriage

Forgo the Starbucks

New study links caffeine use and miscarriage. http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/01/20/healthscience/health.php

Of 264 women who said they used no caffeine, 12.5 percent had miscarriages. But the miscarriage rate was 24.5 percent in the 164 women who consumed 200 milligrams or more per day. The increased risk was associated with caffeine itself and not with other known risk factors like the mother's age or smoking habits, the researchers said.

Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome

In the middle of planning the Midwinter Homeschool Convention, we got our final results Tuesday on all of the testing they have done over the last 3 months on why I keep losing babies.

Diagnosis: Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome. APS is a blood clotting autoimmune disorder in which the body doesn't recognize parts of its own cells and creates antibodies to attack them. Treatment - baby aspirin and possible heparin shots if we get pregnant again. http://preconception.com/resources/articles/miscarry1.htm

Anyone with multiple miscarriages should be checked for this. Finding out the reason WHY we have lost so many babies, and the simple cure, has been rather emotionally devastating. To think we might be 6 months pregnant right now, had we only known to take baby aspirin. But the Lord calls us to do that which is before us now, to reach forward to what lies ahead, and to walk in TODAY'S OBEDIENCE, so we really need to focus on Midwinter and not get lost in the shadows of sorrow. I will need to meet with a hematologist to see if there are other things I need to do to live a long and healthy life, with a blood clotting disorder, after the convention.

Tri-Cities Midwinter Homeschool Convention

February 1 & 2, 2008

Tri-Cities Midwinter Homeschool Convention & Book Sale

Friday ~ February 1, 2008 ~ 7:00-10:00 pm

Saturday ~ February 2, 2008 8:30-6:00pm

Crossroads Christian Church

1300 Suncrest Drive, Gray TN

Next to Daniel Boone High School & ETSU Gray Fossil Site

Inviting ALL homeschool moms to the 2nd Annual Tri-Cities Midwinter Homeschool Convention and Book Sale which will reinvigorate, encourage, equip and inspire you on toward the finish line this school year! Keynote speakers Jan and Gary Bloom from Books Bloom and their amazing selection of over 5000 living books, special guest speaker attorney Dewitt Black from HSLDA, and more speakers who will strengthen and encourage you! In the midst of New Years resolutions, goals and year end reviews, what better time to evaluate our homeschools than NOW!

Beloved fellow homeschool moms, are you tired? Exhausted facing a new year? Do you feel like you just need a day for YOU? Expanded and triple the size of last year, the 2008 Midwinter Convention promises to be two days of refreshing seminars on a multitude of topics home educating parents want to know, along with tables full of living books, games, special needs materials, curriculum and more, which will give you the lift you need to press on to the finish line of this year!

Talk to veteran moms, new homeschoolers, and everyone in-between. Check out our great seminar and workshop schedule to choose what you need most. There will be plenty of time to get all the encouragement you need, along with lots of shopping time. Enjoy a delicious catered lunch (optional) and homemade goodies while you browse the book tables, with good coffee and lots of chocolate! Listen to a few seminars, browse the vendor hall and enjoy chatting with other homeschoolers! We are asking for a $5 donation at the door. See you Friday February 1 from 7-10 pm, and Saturday February 2, 2008 from 8:30-6. For more information visit www.midwinterconvention.com or email Lisa Baughn at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

The day before my 42nd birthday....

St. Patrick's Day 2008

As my birthday rolls around, tomorrow I am 42, I think of what April was to hold. Another failed due date.

While we accept the Lord's sovereign will, it can be difficult each time the due date comes up.

The clock is ticking....

And it will for about 3 or 4 more years. That is kind of staggering, to think about.

Another 36-48 cycles.

Until Emily graduates....

Until the 2012 presidential campaigns....

Learning About Him Through Suffering

I was talking to a friend at church yesterday - feeling down, house still for sale, life pressing in. She is sweet, a nurse, compassionate and just a precious person. Crying, I just said - Some days it is difficult to wonder why God put this obedience on our hearts to get a sterilization reversal, when I can't carry a baby.

Why indeed?

Probably because I talk about it - and perhaps He wants to use me as a vessel to get the word out about the DNC practices surrounding blighted ovums. People are aborting babies.

Perhaps, my job is to sound the alarm....

Or perhaps, my job is to understand the fellowship of his sufferings. Jesus was beaten, whipped, the robe went on and off, ripping the flesh from his body. He was a mangled mass of unrecognizable humanity as he was put upon the cross. He knows suffering...He knows anguish...He knows.

And while I can never, in my finite human "wisdom" ever comprehend His perfect suffering on the cross, when He took sin, although perfect, and bore it for us all....I can, in some small ways, understand the suffering by that which He allows me to go through.

Lord forgive me. Too often I complain, rather than honor you.

Fertility Plans....

Well, more amalgam removal is scheduled for April! All amalgam silver fillings should be removed in that visit. I will have a metal free mouth. That should help reduce the toxic load on my body

Still chasing down the gluten trail...

Gluten Free - Celiac Disease - Infertility ---> Gastroenterologist Appt

On my 42nd birthday, I made an appointment to see a gastroenterologist! I go in April - same week the rest of the mercury amalgams are removed.

I am going to use the gift of insurance that we currently have to try to get to the bottom of this puzzle. Is gluten intolerance contributing to infertility and miscarriage?

There will probably be several tests with the gastroenterologist.

Here are some articles written by a Dr. Scot Lewey, a Colorado gastroenterologist who is also a celiac! His website is at http://www.thefooddoc.com/

Vacationing?? Find the BEST Living History Sites in the US!

In-between two week waits...may as well do something good!

Vacationing?? Find the BEST Living History Sites in the US!

Our passion for living history has bubbled out in a brand new website that is getting ready for launch soon! We are living historians who have been so frustrated trying to find ALL of the historical sites we want, when we go to a particular city or area of the country. We wanted reviews on the best museums and battlefields, why chose one historical village over another and how to use our time wisely and get the most history and fun out of a vacation. What makes a place family friendly and educational, and where is a great place to eat that it is a little out of the ordinary. When you move from one coast to the other because you are crazy about history - this is the site you want to find!

But, alas, there isn't one. So we are creating the Living History Site for families!

Explore a whole new world of history in full color at www.livinghistorysites.com From historical reenactments to the homes of poets, you will find out about living history sites, farms, old mansions, plantations, battlefields, and more in a family friendly site aimed at sharing history with families! If you are passionate about history and your kids don't get it, this is the site for you to blow the lid off their slumber and make history come alive before their eyes! Homeschoolers, home educators, living historians, this is your guide to the best spots in the US! Living History Sites will be your real life guide to history! Join us for the adventure!

Whether you want to see a Civil War reenactment, a living farm museum, a historical interpretation, a Revolutionary War battle, or a trip through colonial America, find it all here, as the site grows and expands! Learn about fabulous old homes, mansions and plantations, exploring a world of old!

Due Date Fast Approaching - Waves of Sorrow

My due date is in 12 days. Or, would have been in 12 days.

Some days are fine, others there are waves of sorrow, a despondency washing over me like waves of stinging rain in a heavy thunderstorm. Fierce and penetrating, slanting with the winds of the storm, unrelenting, then calm again.

I am sad some days. Agitated others, no real reason, just a continuous sense of something NOT being right.

Doctor World - Infertility, Miscarriage, The Gluten Trail and More

Today, I saw a GI doctor to begin chasing down the gluten trail! Yeah - finally I have waited the year on the pre-existing condition and I can be seen! I saw Dr. Matthews today and he was fabulous, keen, smart, interested and willing to track things down. I feel extraordinarily encouraged that he can get to the bottom of the gluten conundrum!

I would have had blood work done today, but have not really been eating enough gluten to show a definitive answer. So, I am to have at least 4 gluten servings a day for a week, then do the blood. Oh my! I had eaten more bread for the last month (since making the appt) but stopped last week, as I was entering my cleanse and detox period - but have to postpone that and up the gluten. Tomorrow I get the amalgam fillings out - and I have been amping up to do the liver gallbladder cleanse Thursday. It is all on hold now. Oh well, the bottom line is to figure out what is wrong. That can wait.

Ran to the grocery store on the way home, as we have no bread. They had put the fancy breads in a grocery basket marked $1.68 - buy one get one free, so I was able to get 5 delicious artisan type breads for less than the price of one. That is a huge praise!

I had a few pieces at lunch (if I am going to bread up - I may as well bread UP!) and they were awesome, along with broccoli, rice and blackened salmon. My stomach immediately began to roll and gurgle from the bread and get distended. Bloat. Here I am ready for a cleanse and it is back to bloat.

APS -- Auto Immune Blood and Miscarriage

I just made an appointment with a hematologist for the APS. There are two ways that APS affect me. First, in the realm of future conception and the babies we have lost. Second, once that window of conception closes permanently, I will still walk around for the rest of my life with an auto-immune blood disease. I need to know how to live the rest of my life.

This is information on testing for it:

Testing for Antiphospholipid Antibodies

Women who are dealing with infertility, particularly recurrent miscarriages, are likely to undergo testing for antiphospholipid antibodies. Antiphospholipid antibodies (APA) are proteins naturally produced by your body but that mistake your cells for invaders. When APA attack, they bind to a cell's membrane, making it sticky. This causes improper blood flow and can contribute to the formation of blood clots (thrombosis) as well as other health issues.

Why Test for It?

Individuals who have APA are usually diagnosed with antiphospholipid syndrome (APS). Though not necessarily the cause, APS is commonly found in women who have suffered repeat miscarriage. If no explanation has been found for your fertility issues, receiving an APA test can help pinpoint the problem, thereby allowing you to receive the proper infertility treatment.

However, it is not just people with fertility problems that have APA. Between 2% and 15% of the healthy population have APA in their system, they just don't know it. This is because their APA levels are so low, they fail to cause any significant health problems. Only in individuals with high APA levels are health issues likely to materialize. Other people that may have high levels of APA include those with lupus, migraine sufferers and people diagnosed with deep vein thrombosis.

Getting Tested

Since there are actually 21 different types of APA, the antiphospholipid antibody test will screen for the various APA. However, it is possible to test for specific APA if your health care provider feels it is necessary. To determine whether you have APA in your system, a sample of your blood will be taken and sent off to a lab for analysis.

The amount of APA in your blood will be measured in titers. Titers refer to the amount of blood that can be diluted until no more antibodies are present in it. Your results can come back as normal, meaning that you have no or very low amounts of APA in your system; borderline, which implies that your blood contains an abnormal amount of APA; and high, meaning that you have too many APA in your blood. A high level normally measures between 1:100 and 1:400.

Receiving Treatment

Women that are found to have high levels of APA will likely request treatment in order to thin out their blood thereby reducing their risk of blood clots, recurrent miscarriage, pregnancy complications (such as pre-eclampsia) and heart attack. Treatment for APS is quite simple: daily administration of low-dose aspirin or an anti-coagulant is typically prescribed.

Celiac....The Gluten Test Begins!

I saw the GI doctor last week, and have had to eat additional gluten. For a WEEK - I ate at least 4 servings of gluten a day (mainly organic cream of wheat -- I had dental work done and bread) I gained 8 pounds on the gluten challenge in ONE WEEK (on top of the 10) for a total of 18 GAINED in less than two months. Yes, I have eaten a little more than normal, but not 18 lbs worth. Something is NOT right. I just got rid of the size above, donated it all to the church - so this is really freaking me out.

Just did the tests at the HOSPITAL and they BLEW a vein taking my blood. A newbie did it. It scared me to death - there was blood everywhere and it HURT, and nothing flowing into the tube, they had to wipe up the chair and me, and oh boy!

My first thought was - oh - so you have had sticky clotty blood your whole life, with blood thinning this is the new reality! He was super nice, but joked that a clot may have just formed and it couldn't go through, and I was freaking out silently inside(we are going to Mass - I don't want a clot NOW, etc, etc)

But I think it was just newbie nerves or something - he could not get blood and that has NEVER happened (66 vials of blood last year) So the other phlebotomist came and he got it.

All in all, it took an hour and a half - I had to check into the hospital and everything. Afterwards, I was supposed to get a 2nd blood draw in another town for my appt next week with OB/GYN who has me on bio-identical hormones- a totally different deal. Now I have to wait until WEDS to get my other blood drawn for both veins to heal, so they can get it (I called my Dr to double check). Ugh!

While I will be glad when my next 5 appts are over. OB/GYN, hematologist, ENT (for thyroid), GI and one specialist I am trying to get in to, we also praise the Lord for the miracle of insurance and the ability to get to the bottom of these issues that have been going on for 16 years, since 1992.

The tests ordered and drawn were:

Tissue Transglutanminase IgA
http://www.sydpath.stvincents.com.au/tests/ImmunoFrames/CoeliacBody.htm

Serum IgA

Serum H-Pylori

My due date is 6 days from today....had we not lost the baby. That just goes to show you how long this testing has taken (of course, we had to wait until mid-Jan for the pre-existing year to be up)

New Text / Write module

http://www.celiac.com/articles/943/1/Gluten-Free-Diet-Recommended-for-Patients-with-Serum-IgA-Endomysial-Antibodies-but-Normal-Duodenal-Villi-Biopsy/Page1.html

Figuring Out What is Wrong

H. pylori & Blood Thinners

Got one set of news from the GI doctor - the initial test says I am good on the gluten. While the test came back negative, for some reason, there is an inner lack of ease with it. But at least don't feel like I will kill any additional pregnancies by eating a sandwich. I mean that literally, which is a tremendous relief.

I do have H. pylori, this nasty bacteria in my stomach that cause ulcers and eventually causes lymphoma (cancer). So I have to do an industrial strength protocol of antibiotics etc, a triple threat (my doctor is so cool - he says - I know you HATE antibiotics and drugs - BUT - it may become cancer, so I would suggest you really consider this. I appreciate a brilliant doctor who really cares about the patient, and the fact that the patient does not like pharmaceuticals!

I may have to do it several times to eradicate it, from researching it is pretty nasty.

This explains why I have non stop morning sickness feelings - H. pylori make you feel sick all the time, which is why I always feel prego - every single two week wait (and actually have for years - it is just worse now!)

That said - I am in the TWW right now and cannot start the triple threat until I know for sure I am not prego. The PrevPac routine can damage a fetus, so it is not recommended during pregnancy. So much of my life is lived two weeks at a time.

And I am thoroughly grossed out to have BACTERIA in my stomach that are NASTINESS! Ugh. It is like filth - get it out NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! So I will do a natural protocol that is safe now (bentonite clay, Oil of O, etc this week - all of which are safe in the TWW)

And - that baby aspirin - well, according to some things I have read, that FEEDS the H. pylori and really harms the stomach situation (lets cut a pathway quicker to cancer??) You know the old adage, you take one pharmaceutical and it leads to a host of others to fix what it is destroying! I just can't seem to win for losing, but hey - I can eat bread!

But God is so good, we were at the HFS and talking to my favorite person there and I told her about the blood clotting issue. She told me,the aspirin can eventually eat a hole through your stomach. While looking at natural remedies - I have to tapdance on possible pregnancy - I can't not have something that thins my blood. Get this - if I get prego - the stuff they give me beyond aspirin is a rat and mice killer! Yes! And there were tainted batches in China - that killed folks outright. And I would have to INJECT it - oh sign me up for that.

So my choice - rat killer to save the baby - OR - herbs (which we all know can be toxic).

I ended up getting this BAC formula - that might be ideal for you (info below). I would have systematically dismissed it - I don't have high cholesterol, blood pressure, etc. But I do have blood clots which can kill me and have killed 4 babies. I bought a booklet on it and read it as we were out and about. It made total sense - so I went back and got it and at $39.95 NOT a minor choice. That was Sunday, so Connie double checked with the mfg on Monday that it was okay prego/or TTC so we are good there.

The next day - the GI doctor diagnosed me with me H. pylori and that pretty much eliminates ANY desire to take aspirin - so the BAC formula is a blessing!

Eliminating the H. pylori

Well, what a round of doctors appointment I have in April and May of 2008. Our due date was April 20, 2008, with our precious baby Hope. I have not given up on figuring out what is wrong with me.

I just finished the PrevPac for a week. What is PrevPac:

PREVPAC is a convenient daily dose pack that contains a multiple-drug treatment to eliminate H. pylori (Helicobacter pylori, pronounced HELI-co-back-ter pie-LORRIE) and to reduce the risk of duodenal ulcer recurrence. Each PREVPAC contains daily administration cards for a 10- or 14-day treatment regimen. Each card contains three different prescription drugs for one day of treatment. It includes an acid-reducing drug called Prevacid and two antibiotics called amoxicillin capsules, USP and BIAXIN® Filmtab® (clarithromycin tablets, USP).

I felt sick the entire time I was on the PrevPac. I traveled for almost a week, and it was really hard to deal with feeling sick, working, traveling, the whole thing. I ate like crazy, because eating is the only thing that stops my stomach from feeling so sick.

Now, we just started on our summer of cleanses, with "The Master Cleanse" which is a two week lemonade fast that I am documenting on www.theprudentwife.com

I needed it to get those horrific 2 weeks of meds out, which just about killed me. I don't do antibiotics. I also read that just doing this particular fast could heal the ulcer (not sure if the H.pylori ate one into me or not) and that the Master Cleanse would have fixed it. It is much more pleasant than the triple therapy PrevPac! Since some folks have to go through several courses of the antibiotics to kill the H. pylori, this is a brilliant thing to do!

Plus, it clears toxins out and is a great cleanse for the body - which will help our continued journey through trying to have more children.

So looking forward to a whole summer of farmers markets full of divinely created fruits and veggies - heaven!!!

The Prudent Wife to Launch June 2008!

Save time, money and sanity at www.theprudentwife.com

Yes, Lord willing, it is finally here! We are in the final touches of putting The Prudent Wife Website together! We are going to launch officially in June of 2008 and are so excited to bring you our signature videos full of money saving adventures, great meals, healthy tips, homemade green cleaners and a website dedicated to helping you survive the turbulent financial times we are in and prosper!

Why has it taken so long? Well, instead of a team of 30 creating this site, all the recipes, photos, and videography, you have one very busy homeschooling family doing it all! This has truly been a labor of love, diligence and hundreds of hours have gone into this site, with hundreds more to go get it launched! We are very appreciative of a dollar here at The Prudent Wife, and we were determined NOT to launch until this site until it was well worth your money! If we can't save you the membership price dozens of times over, it is not worth launching - period!

We appreciate your patience and your prayers as we head into launch!

www.theprudentwife.com

Anti-coagulants, Rat Poison, the EPA and Keeping a Baby???

Choices ---> EPA aims to keep rat poison from children, animals

A few weeks ago, my hematologist told me that I NEED to begin the injections of blood thinner Lovenox.

Lovenox (Enoxaparin)
Lovenox injection is a blood thinner given in combination with one or more of the above to help in preventing blood clots from forming or worsening. It is given by subcutaneous injection twice a day. You will be taught exactly how to administer this and how to dispose of the syringes; be sure to ask any questions about how to take this medication. Let your doctor know right away if you have any unusual bleeding; (black or bloody stools, blood in the urine, nosebleeds) or swollen ankles or feet.

I politely told him that I understood that the Lovenox was RAT POISON and that I was not interested in taking RAT POISON. He got very excited and said that "YES, but it was discovered for the humans first, and killing rats was discovered later."

I sat there in a bit of shock - again saying, that it was RAT POISON, and I did not want to take it, let alone inject myself with it.

He said that I need to begin injecting myself NOW if we are trying to conceive. "You are pregnant for a 4 weeks before you know it," he said, "and we do not know at what point the blood cells in my body begin to clot up and destroy the baby, it could be at one week, two weeks, we do not know." So if I am not taking this injectable blood thinner, BEFORE I conceive, I may continue to lose babies.

So, it is now my fault if I refuse to take the RAT POISON.

How odd, the story I am getting is that if I am going to KEEP my precious baby, I must take RAT POISON. And that does not seem weird to my hematologist.

He ordered more tests.

I had gone to him to figure out HOW to live the rest of my life with a blood clotting disorder. I wanted reassurance that I would not keel over from a blood clot, with advice on lifestyle change. I did not expect take two rat poison injections and call me in the morning.

A week later, I read this story:

EPA aims to keep rat poison from children, animals

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/05/30/rat.poison/index.html

(CNN) -- Ecological and conservation groups are praising a move by the Environmental Protection Agency to impose new restrictions on rat poisons to help reduce the threat of accidental exposure to children and wildlife.
art.rat.gi.jpg

The rules say only farmers, livestock owners and certified rodent control employees can buy rat poison in bulk.

"We are very happy that the EPA has done all it can to get these products off of the consumer market," said Michael Fry, director of conservation advocacy for the American Bird Conservancy. "By putting these restrictions in place, they are allowing a compromise to be made between themselves and organizations who have been working on this problem for a long time."

The EPA's new measures, which were handed down Thursday, require that rat poisons be kept in bait stations above ground and in containers that meet agency standards.

Loose bait, such as pellets, and the four most hazardous types of pesticides, known as "second-generation anticoagulants," will no longer be sold for personal use.

Under the new restrictions, only farmers, livestock owners and certified rodent control employees will be allowed to purchase rat poison in bulk. Bags larger than 8 pounds will no longer be sold at hardware and home-improvement stores.

Children who come into contact with highly toxic pellets can experience terrible symptoms from digesting them. They include internal bleeding, nosebleeds, hair loss and extensive bruising.

Between 2001 and 2003, rat poison was responsible for nearly 60,000 poisonings, according to a study done by the American Association of Poison Control Centers. About 250 of these yearly exposures result in serious injuries or death.

The EPA said it believes the restrictions will not only keep the products out of children's hands, but also reduce the ecological and wildlife risks associated with exposure to rat poison.

Bait blocks that are typically placed on the ground use fish and other flavors that attract endangered species, including mountain lions.

"In California, almost every animal tested by the National Wildlife Service had residues of rodenticides," said Fry. "The rat baits are also very lethal to scavengers, because the toxins remain in the rodent's body long after they initially die."

Although the EPA is receiving considerable praise for the initiative, this isn't the first time the agency has worked to combat the threat of rat poison.

In 1998, the EPA established two standards for rat poison. The agency required manufacturers to include an ingredient that made the poison taste bitter and use an indicator dye that would make the ingestion of pesticides more recognizable.

But regulations were revoked in 2001 after the agency came to a mutual agreement with manufacturers to rescind the requirements.

"We determined that the dye wasn't effective in keeping children from being accidentally exposed and the bittering agent actually resulted in a loss of efficiency in controlling rodents," said Steven Bradbury, director of the agency's Division of Special Review and Re-registration.

"In our decision Thursday, we felt that we needed an approach that would stop children coming in contact with the pesticides in the first place. That ultimately led to the implementation of bait stations," Bradbury said.

The decision to revoke the requirements led the West Harlem Environmental Action, Inc. and the Natural Resource Defense Council to file a lawsuit three years later.

Both organizations saw the retraction as a way to make it easy for consumers to purchase unsafe rodenticides over the counter. According to the West Harlem group, inner-city housing and park departments such as the New York City Housing Authority could continue laying rat baits in public areas that were easily accessible to children.

"Studies show that the number of poisonings in minority children is much higher than others," said Aaron Colangelo, a staff attorney at the Natural Resource Defense Council. "Not only do we have an environmental health issue, but an environmental justice issue as well."

New York State Health Department studies showed that 57 percent of children hospitalized for rat poisoning were black and 26 percent were Latino.

The EPA said it is working to reduce those numbers in upcoming years with regulations like the ones it introduced this week.

"We were frustrated that the EPA dragged their feet for three years before finally taking some productive steps," said Colangelo. "But, from our perspective, they are finally starting to do what needs to be done in order to protect children."

After June 4, rat poison manufacturers will have 90 days to comply with the EPA's guidelines. They will then have the opportunity to design new bait stations and formulas for their poisons.

So, if the EPA wants to keep rat poison from children, animals, why does my doctor want me to take a similar substance to save my unborn baby?

Do people ever stand back and THINK anymore????

EPA on Warfarin and Children

Straight off the EPA's website:

Final Risk Mitigation Decision for Ten Rodenticides
Resources

* Rodenticides Reregistration Web page
* Rodenticides Background

Current as of May 28, 2008

After fully assessing human health and ecological effects, as well as benefits, EPA is announcing measures to reduce risks associated with ten rodenticides:

* Brodifacoum
* Bromadiolone
* Bromethalin
* Chlorophacinone
* Cholecalciferol
* Difenacoum
* Difethialone
* Diphacinone
* Warfarin
* Zinc phosphide

New safety measures announced by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency will protect children from accidental exposure to rodent-control products. These measures will also reduce the risk of accidental poisonings of pets and wildlife. With the Agency's risk mitigation measures in place, rodenticide products will be safe, effective, and affordable for all consumers.

On this page:

* Rodenticide Safety Concerns
* Final Risk Mitigation Measures
* Summary of New Restrictions
* Proposed Mitigation Measures are Protective and Flexible
* Integrated Pest Management Will Improve Effectiveness
* More Information

Rodenticide Safety Concerns

Rodenticides are important products for controlling mice, rats and other rodents that pose threats to public health, critical habitats, native plants and animals, crops, and food supplies. However, these products also present human and environmental safety concerns.

Exposures to Children - Rodenticides are an important tool for public health pest control, including controlling mice and rats around the home; however, the use of these products has been associated with accidental exposures to thousands of children each year. Fortunately, only a small number of exposed children experience medical symptoms or suffer adverse health effects as a result of their exposure.

The Agency believes, however, that the number of exposure incidents is unacceptably high. Further, data indicate that children in low income families are disproportionately exposed. EPA's risk mitigation measures address this situation by significantly reducing the likelihood of rodenticide exposure to children, including those children who may be disproportionately at risk for exposure.

Risks to Wildlife - Rodenticides pose significant risks to non-target wildlife including birds, such as hawks and owls, and mammals, including raccoons, squirrels, skunks, deer, coyotes, foxes, mountain lions, and bobcats. Rodenticides applied as bait products pose risks to wildlife from primary exposure (direct consumption of rodenticide bait) and secondary exposure (predators or scavengers consuming prey with rodenticides present in body tissues). Several reported incidents have involved Federally listed threatened and endangered species, for example the San Joaquin kit fox and Northern spotted owl, in addition to the Bald eagle, which is protected under the Bald and Golden Eagle Act.

Differences Among the Rodenticides - The ten rodenticide active ingredients covered by this action can be divided into three categories:

* first-generation anticoagulants: warfarin, chlorophacinone, and diphacinone;
* second-generation anticoagulants: brodifacoum, bromadiolone, difenacoum, and difethialone; and
* non-anticoagulants: bromethalin, cholecalciferol and zinc phosphide.

The anticoagulants interfere with blood clotting, and death can result from excessive bleeding. Bromethalin is a nerve toxicant that causes respiratory distress. Cholecalciferol is vitamin D3, which in small dosages is needed for good health in most mammals, but in massive doses is toxic, especially to rodents. Zinc phosphide causes liberation of toxic phosphine gas in the stomach.

The second-generation anticoagulants are especially hazardous for several reasons. They are highly toxic, and they persist a long time in body tissues. The second-generation anticoagulants are designed to be toxic in a single feeding, but since time-to-death is several days, rodents can feed multiple times before death, leading to carcasses containing residues that may be many times the lethal dose. Predators or scavengers that feed on those poisoned rodents may consume enough to suffer harm.

Top of page
Final Risk Mitigation Measures

EPA's decision reduces rodenticide exposures to children and wildlife, while still allowing residential users, livestock producers, and professional applicators access to a variety of effective and affordable rodent control products.

Childrens' Risk Mitigation - To minimize children's exposure to rodenticide products used in homes, EPA is requiring that all rodenticide bait products available for sale to consumers be sold only in bait stations. Loose bait such as pellets will be prohibited as a bait form. A range of different types of bait stations will meet the new requirements, providing flexibility in cost.

Tiered Bait Station Requirements for Consumer-Use Products
o Tier 1 - Tamper-resistant for children and dogs; weather resistant; tested according to EPA protocols; indoor and outdoor use;
o Tier 2 - Tamper-resistant for children and dogs; tested according to EPA protocols; indoor use only;
o Tier 3 - Tamper-resistant for children; tested according to EPA protocols; indoor use only; and,
o Tier 4 - Self-certification; packaging not reasonably anticipated to release other than small quantities of bait; resistant to opening by a child less than six years old; indoor use only; non-refillable (one-time-use only).

Ecological Risk Mitigation - To reduce wildlife exposures and ecological risks, EPA will require sales and distribution and packaging restrictions for products containing four of the ten rodenticides that pose the greatest risk to wildlife (the second-generation anticoagulants - brodifacoum, bromadiolone, difenacoum, and difethialone) to prevent purchase on the consumer market.

Sale and Distribution Restrictions
o The terms and conditions of registration for products containing brodifacoum, bromadiolone, difenacoum, and difethialone must be amended to specify that the registrants will control distribution of the products so that they shall only be distributed to or sold in agricultural, farm and tractor stores or directly to PCOs and other professional applicators, and that registrants will not sell or distribute products containing brodifacoum, bromadiolone, difenacoum, and difethialone in channels of trade likely to result in retail sale in hardware and home improvement stores, grocery stores, convenience stores, drug stores, club stores, big box stores, and other general retailers.
Minimum Package Size Requirements
o The Agency is requiring second-generation anticoagulant bait products to be sold in packages that contain %u2265 8 pounds of bait for products that are labeled for use only inside of and around agricultural buildings, and not for use in and around homes.
o For second-generation anticoagulant bait products intended for use by professional applicators, the minimum permissible amount of bait per package is 16 pounds.
Use Site Restriction
o For second-generation anticoagulant bait products in packages with at least 8 but not more than 16 pounds of bait, labels must state that products may only be used in and around agricultural buildings (e.g., barns, hen houses), and bear the statement "Do not use this product in homes or other human residences."

Top of page
Summary of New Restrictions
"Consumer Size" Products (Products containing %u2264 1 pound of bait)

* May not contain brodifacoum, difethialone, bromadiolone, or difenacoum (the second-generation anticoagulants)
* Loose bait forms such as pellets are prohibited
* Each retail unit must include a pre-loaded bait station
* Bait refills may be sold with pre-loaded bait stations in a single retail unit

Second-Generation Anticoagulant Products for Use Around Agricultural Buildings

* Products must contain at least eight pounds of bait.
* Bait stations are required for all outdoor, above-ground placements of second-generation anticoagulant products.
* Bait stations are required indoors if exposure to children, pets, or non-target animals is possible.
* Product labels must indicate that the product is for use only in and around agricultural buildings and that use in residential use sites is prohibited.
* Distribution to and sales in "consumer" stores including grocery stores, drug stores, hardware stores, club stores will be prohibited.

Second-Generation Anticoagulant Products for Professional Applicators

* Products must contain at least 16 pounds of bait.
* Bait stations are required for all outdoor, above-ground placements of second-generation anticoagulants.
* Bait stations are required indoors if exposure to children, pets, or non-target animals is possible.
* Distribution to and sales in "consumer" stores including grocery stores, drug stores, hardware stores, club stores will be prohibited.

Top of page
Proposed Mitigation Measures are Protective and Flexible

In January 2007, to decrease the incidence of children's accidental exposures to rodenticides, EPA proposed a requirement that all rodenticides sold "over the counter" for residential use be available only in tamper-resistant bait stations. The proposal also included a requirement that the second-generation anticoagulants be classified for restricted use, to minimize impacts on non-target wildlife.

EPA's final rodenticide decision achieves the same goal of protection of children and wildlife. In response to comments concerning the costs of tamper-resistant bait stations to protect children and pets, the Agency adopted a tiered bait station system that allows for a variety of effective bait stations at a range of prices. Provisions are also being put into place to prevent the sale and distribution of the mor

TODAY Show A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage
Posted: Tuesday, May 08, 2007 8:24 AM by Jaclyn Levin
Filed Under: Health

(From Tammy Fine, TODAY Producer)

By now you've heard from many producers on the staff here about what great jobs we have. I add my voice to everything that has been said before, we work with a fantastic group of people, we meet the famous and the infamous.

But there is a story that I have been working on for weeks that aired on this morning's show that has meant a great deal to me. It's a story on what you should do when you suffer recurrent, unexplained miscarriages. WATCH VIDEO. http://video.msn.com/v/us/msnbc.htm?g=18f9641f-d84e-4b5e-b5e4-1cb326594be8&f=00&fg=

It's part of a series called, "I Want a Baby, " where we are focusing on what to do if you can't get pregnant, can't carry a pregnancy to term or simply can't carry your own child and plan to adopt.

Christine diPasqualle, the woman I profiled, suffered four miscarriages before being diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder and getting treatment. She went on to have two healthy children. This story is important for two reasons: the first, the sheer responsibility a producer takes on when you share a personal story like Christine's. I want to make sure I do justice to her story. But there is a second reason, equally important; I want to make sure I do you justice.

Much of our audience is made up of women and many of those women are moms or hoping to be. So when I do a story on miscarriage and how to handle the loss, move forward and try again, I keep you in mind. I try to ask myself what would you want to know if you are sitting in your kitchen this morning watching the show having recently suffered a miscarriage, how we help arm you with information.

But you should know, often the stories we cover come right from our own lives. I have twins; they are beautiful 2 year olds named Abigail and Elizabeth. Bringing them into my life wasn't easy. I suffered multiple miscarriages, one which I didn't even know was coming until I was at my doctor's for my scheduled sonogram and he saw it on the screen and told me there was nothing to do but wait for it to happen. That news is devastating. But I tell you this story, not to lay my personal life out in public, but so you know that when someone trusts us with their story, it often times is our story too, and the information we learn, the experiences we go through, often help us as producers turn around a product that I hope enlightens you, educates your and most importantly, connects with you.

If it does, let us know. If it doesn't let us know. We do this show in partnership with you. I do hope you find Christine's story both inspiring and educational.

Increasing Fertility and Maintaining Pregnancy Naturally.

By: Dr. William Wong, ND, PhD.

Found this on Fertility/Infertility Blogspot
I found an interesting site hosted by a Naturopathic Doctor which gives his recommendations on conceiving and carrying to term. I can't say his protocol is the same as mine, however there is some overlap. Read more:

Increasing Fertility and Maintaining Pregnancy Naturally.
By: Dr. William Wong, ND, PhD.

From the site:

Protocol:

Systemic Enzymes 3 to 5 tablets 3 times a day in-between meals.
Progesta Care Cream one application twice a day 12 hours apart. An added application or two may be needed if levels of progesterone are very low. It is impossible to over do natural progesterone; there is no top level of dosing. Progesta Care may be used through the pregnancy. Stop using the cream just before the due date, as progesterone levels must go down and estrogen levels go up to trigger childbirth.
Inca Gold Maca one scoop once or twice a day.
Add to these supplements all the usual nutrition that is needed to produce a healthy baby:

Calcium: 1200-1600mg.
Magnesium: 1200-1600mg.
Zinc: 50 to 75mg.
B-12 1000mcg.
Folic Acid 800mcg.
One gram of protein per kilo (2.2lbs) of body weight.
Morning sickness is usually a physiological sign that either progesterone levels or Folic Acid levels are low. It will do no harm to mother or baby to increase the intake of either until symptoms subside, then to remain at that level of intake.

Prior to the due date avoid all sources of estrogen:

Soy in any form.
Isoflavones.
Pesticides.
Synthetic plant and vegetable fertilizers.
Estrogen rich herbs such as Black Cohosh.
Petroleum fumes.
Refer to the pregnancy section of Dr. Linda Rector Pages' book Healthy Healing for other herbs to avoid during pregnancy.
Keep using the enzymes after the birth to help heal all of your tissues faster and avoid a good bit of the inflammation caused soreness as well as to reduce spider veins. Resume using the Progesta Care 30 days post partum to end or prevent post partum depression, which is due to the great decrease in progesterone and the increase in

Can Full Spectrum Lights Affect Fertility???

The Role of Light in Health

The Role of Light in Health
http://www.rawfoodinfo.com/articles/art_roleoflight.html

'Super Nutrient' Lacking in
Most Artificially Illuminated Rooms, Scientists Warn

Tinted and dark glasses can harm your health and may depress your immune system and endocrine glands!

A nutrient that travels at a speed of 186,000 miles a second from a source 93 million miles away rates with food, water and air as part of the life-support system on earth. It is light from the sun.

But light also comes from manmade sources, and therein lies a number of problems.

The wrong kind of artificial light can make students irritable in school, reduce production among factory workers and make office workers sluggish.

Not enough of the right kind of light can interfere with calcium absorption in the elderly and contribute to brittle bones, scientific studies show.

On the positive side, light can be used to control jaundice (using so-called "billy lights", UV) in the newborn. It also can boost beef production; cattle that spend "longer days" under correct artificial light are 10% to 15% heavier, with no increase in food consumption.

The light that some scientists consider a "super nutrient" is full-spectrum light, which comes from the sun or from fluorescent bulbs of special design that simulate sunlight. (Actually, despite the designation of these artificial lights, they did not match the full spectrum of sunlight.)

Incandescent bulbs and most fluorescent bulbs do not produce full-spectrum light. This may be contributing to "mal-illumination," say photo biologists, the scientists who specialize in the study of light's effects on living creatures.

The science of photobiology is a recent one. Some photo biologists say doctors showed little interest in the subject until about five years ago. The American Society of Photo biology was founded only eight years ago.

One way of rating light is by a color rendering index, the CRI. of 100. Full-spectrum fluorescent, 91; standard cool white fluorescent, 68; other fluorescent, 56.

Under natural light or an artificial source that duplicates natural light, there is less human fatigue and stress and better visual acuity and production, studies have shown.

Consider:

-Plants grown under artificial lighting that comes close to duplicating full-spectrum sunlight can be made to flower on preset schedules by controlling day length.

-In dairies, changing the length of light exposure from natural 9 to 12 hours of light to 16 hours of fluorescent light of the full-spectrum type increased the milk yield by 10% to 15%.

-Full-spectrum light is used to treat psoriasis, neonatal jaundice and herpes simplex infections.

Rays from sunlight stimulate the pineal gland, a pea-sized organ in the head. This gland secretes melatonin, a hormone that seems to control many bodily functions. When infected into animals,
melatonin induces sleep, inhibits ovulation and modifies the secretion of other hormones. Experts say that both plastic and regular eyeglasses and contact lenses block some of the ultraviolet rays that travel through the eye to the pineal gland.

-At the Center for Improvement of Undergraduate Education, Cornell University, Ithaca, N.Y., students working in a class with fluorescent light closely approximating sunlight experienced a significant increase in visual acuity and a reduction in overall fatigue, compared to performance under regular fluorescent lights. John Ott, of Sarasota, Fla., a pioneer in light and health research, for the last 50 year has been warning against unhealthy effects of some kinds of light. Earlier, he was rebuffed, but now there is basic research that supports his ideas. Ott said he first noticed strange happenings in living things under certain light sources when he was working on time-lapse photography for Walt Disney movies.

At the Bronx Zoo curators credit full-spectrum lighting with helping the tufted puffin, a shy sea bird, survive in captivity. Under the influence of "indoor sunshine," the puffins, for the first time, laid eggs that hatched.

Strange things happened in Burnett Park Zoo in Syracuse, N.Y., when sunlight-simulating lights were installed in an effort to stop vandalism. "The zoo became a veritable maternity ward," said director Charles T. Clift.

"The cougars fell in love all over again and produced their fourth litter, we collected five goose eggs, at least 8 lambs were born, and the deer population increased by 20. Big Lizzie gave birth to a bear cub. The wallaby produced a new mini-kangaroo and the chimpanzee got pregnant."

Phillip Hughes Ph.D., a scientist at Duro-Test Corp., North Bergen, N.H., said the Syracuse zoo's experience is just one example of the effects of natural-like light. Hughes is a vice president at Duro-Test, the firm that makes the most widely used full-spectrum fluorescent light, Vita-Lite.

A specialist in neurological sciences, physiology and psychology, Hughes said. "Light is definitely a nutrient. It is essential to life and the whole endocrine system. Light has a role in triggering hormones.

"Vitamin D is synthesized by ultraviolet in the skin. Vitamin D receptors help proper bone development and prevent development of rickets. Vitamin D facilitates the absorption of calcium.

"Under light not closely approximating the sun, one study found calcium absorption dropped off in the elderly in the indoors in winter. But those under full-spectrum lighting had an increase in calcium absorption."

In an upcoming book on holistic medicine, produced with funding from the National Institute of Mental Health, Hughes says: "Along with food, air, and water, sunlight is a most important survival factor in human life. Solar radiation activates other important biochemical events in our bodies involved in endocrine control, timing of our biological clocks, entrainment of 24-hour circadian rhythms, immunologic responsiveness, sexual growth and development, regulation of stress and fatigue, control of viral and cold infections, and dampening of functional disorders of the nervous system."

He said the last two or three generations are the first to have spent three-fourths of their lives under artificial light. "We do not fully know the effect," he said.

The Russians know more than Americans, perhaps, about the health effects of various kinds of light.

Under light that is full-spectrum, Russian scientific reports show, production goes up and absenteeism goes down. This kind of light is mandated in many Russian workplaces.

In schools, it has been demonstrated in Russia, full-spectrum lighting or ultraviolet treatment helps academic performance, improves student behavior and lessens fatigue.

The Russians practice light therapy on coal miners who spend their working day out of natural light. Once a day coal miners must disrobe and spend half an hour in natural light or under full-spectrum artificial lighting.

Hughes said the Russians have reported that this regiment is useful in both preventing and treating black lung disease. "The Russian researchers and health specialists have documented that the body's tolerance to environmental pollutants is increased by full-spectrum light, which also increased the effectiveness of immunization procedures," he said.

West Germany's government restricts the use of cool white limited-spectrum fluorescent bulbs in public buildings because of their distorted spectral output.

Ott, the pioneer health and light expert, maintains that sodium vapor lights, now offered as the latest technological advancement, do not reproduce the full spectrum of natural light.

"The Fort Worth, Texas school district was one of the first to install sodium lighting in perhaps a dozen schools. It was one of the first to take them all out because complaints of both teachers and pupils of headaches, eyestrain and other health-related problems," he said.

Ott contends that another major problem with all gaseous-discharge types of lights, including the mercury vapor and limited-spectrum fluorescent light, is that they emit radiation that grossly weakens muscle strength, affecting both academic achievement and behavior.

A recent Consumers' Research magazine report on the risk to health from some fluorescent lamps suggested new probes by industry and the government.

"There are good reasons, in our opinion, for government agencies and industry engineers to initiate promptly laboratory research programs on the effects of the spectral characteristics of artificial lighting on animals used in research and on human beings," it said.

A psychiatrist who uses light in his therapy is Dr. H.L. Newbold of New York.

"Before we began civilizing ourselves into semi-invalidism, we received an abundance of full-spectrum light: the kind that nature provides for us in the form of sunlight," says Newbold, author of "Mega-nutrients for Your Nerves."

"What we now get is a mere fraction of the spectrum." "Once we are all ensconced behind our office desks or in our living room armchairs, science efficiently furnishes us with electric light.

"If your company is really up to date you are probably working under fluorescent light, which may be an industrial engineer's dream of perfection - but happens to be the most nutrient-deficient of all lighting devices.

"Even ordinary light bulbs are preferable to the total artificiality of the fluorescent environment."

Newbold uses full-spectrum lighting in his office and has a special plastic in place of glass in his office windows to allow the ultraviolet from natural daylight to enter.

To let the ultraviolet from full-spectrum lighting into the pathway to the brain, he suggests special lenses for spectacles and contracts for his patients.

In the treatment of yellow jaundice, newborns used to get complete blood transfers. That was until a nurse noticed that a jaundiced infant seemed to be getting better on his own. The infant's crib was near an open window, and natural light was streaming in. The babies near the

Lisa's Bone Building Broth ~ from www.theprudentwife.com

What does the Civil War and Eureka Springs have to do with a miscarriage?

So here is my story. When we began to lose Hope, after the 21 day wait, I finally felt free to leave the house (I was sort of on a self imposed house/bed rest prior to that). I was stir crazy and needed to get out, Emily too. We went to Jonesborough and went to the library - and I found the most delightful cookbook. Checked it out, came home, and read it almost cover to cover. While my heart was breaking, it somehow thrilled me - it was from the place we honeymooned, bursting with tales of the beautiful Ozark Mountains, of places we loved and visited, full of recipes I knew would be wonderful - just a delightful cookbook that brought me back to the happy days of our honeymoon. Out of print, I was able to order it used on Amazon! Somehow, the recipes inside of it's pages have blessed me, comforted me, and just been awesome! It never fails to be a book of possibility - at every touch or glance!

Recipe to follow - when i get a moment! It is at www.theprudentwife.com

Through it, I perfected my bone building broth - which nourished the body and the soul back to health. That broth reminds me of the countless Civil War books we have read - the nurses greatest tool for nourishing the patient back to health was broth, simple, pure broth. It was such a mystery back then, but now I realize how broth is a simple miracle! Life is in the protein from long simmered stock, life and love and healing, such a simple, forgotten treasure! So different than the pressed and formed bouillon cube of today.

So, this morning, I whipped out my huge stock pot, chopped some veggies, sprinkled some herbs, got fresh water, and some bones, and started simmering a nourishing pot of broth. Yes - it is hot - and I know you hate hot -but I shall make it into a vegetable soup of some type - probably a jalapeno salsa veggie soup and will bring it this arternoon. Probably make some cornbread (I know - your personal favorite - ha!) but I have buttermilk that will make a yummy one up and your kids seem to like mine alright!! It is from the cookbook too, and it just gave me hope!

Made bone building broth w/tons of spices. Once stock done, reduced for about 30 minutes.

Here is where it goes Lisa. It ain nevuh goin taste the same again. I was using stuff I had on hand - as I hadn't been to the store since last week!
2 onions
3 cloves of garlic (all I had after making stock) would do 6-8 next time
Couple of handfuls of carrots, celery cut
1 large can diced tomatoes
Canned jalapenos, about 10 BIG FAT whopping ones - chopped (hand burning) would prob use fresh - but did not have any
Broccoli - couple of handfuls, chopped
Cilantro - half a bunch - chopped
I vaguely remember throwing cumin in - about a tablespoon
Might be other stuff in there - I was busy showing the house - remember! LOL!

Tainted Chinese Blood Thinners Kill 81 - Another Article on Heparin

by William Campbell Douglass II, M.D.

The FDA has warned a Chinese pharmaceutical manufacturer about contaminated heparin - a blood thinner that's been traced to one of their plants. This tainted blood thinner has been linked to 81 deaths in the U.S. and what's more, the FDA believes it's present in the drug supplies of 10 other countries.
Deadly Chinese Blood Thinner Found In 11 Countries

William Campbell Douglass II, M.D.

China is in the news all the time these days, mostly because of the media hype leading up to this year's summer Olympic games in Beijing. But what the Chinese government surely hoped would be a months-long love fest for the world's fastest-growing economy hasn't developed. Instead, an increase of access for the Western press has resulted in a torrent of news stories exposing China's shortcomings on the environment, human rights, and other issues.

Personally, I'm happy about this. I think that the Chinese government has been allowed to slide for far too long. Too often, China's misdeeds are swept beneath the rug in the interest of trade or politics. There is a seemingly endless line of toxic and deadly goods (from toys to toothpaste) that are churned out by China's factories and foisted on American consumers. And yet, no matter how many times these dangerous goods are exposed, nothing seems to change - there's always another incident a few weeks later.

And sad to say %u2026 here we go again. But this time, it's not just Americans that are at risk.

The FDA has warned a Chinese pharmaceutical manufacturer about contaminated heparin - a blood thinner that's been traced to one of their plants. This tainted blood thinner has been linked to 81 deaths in the U.S. and what's more, the FDA believes it's present in the drug supplies of 10 other countries.

In total, federal regulators have identified a dozen Chinese companies that supplied these corrupted doses to Australia, Canada, Denmark, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, the Netherlands, New Zealand and, of course, China (the Chinese rarely discriminate with their deadly goods; in fact, it's likely that Chinese consumers get most of the dangerous Chinese goods because of their country's lax safety standards).

According to the FDA, the contaminate in question is a "cheap fake additive" - oversulfated chondroitin sulfate - which can only be detected with sophisticated tests. And that's not all: U.S. inspectors also allege that the Chinese plants used unclean tanks during the manufacture of the drugs, incorporated raw materials from an "unacceptable" vendor, and had no process in place to remove impurities.

And how do the Chinese respond to these allegations? Deny, deny, deny. According to a secretary of the Chinese embassy, "We don't have strong evidence to show that it is heparin or its contaminant that caused the problem." Incredible.

The Chinese even had the unmitigated gall to insist that Chinese inspectors be allowed to inspect the U.S. pharmaceutical plant where the final stages of the drug's production took place! Talk about trying to put the victims on trial%u2026

Unfortunately, our problems with China are just getting started.

The 21st century could belong to the Chinese in the same way that the 20th century belonged to Americans. Because China floats on a veritable sea of cheap labor, they've been able transform their country from a backwater to a robust industrial giant in an incredibly short span of time. And, much like the growing United States of the 19th century, they are plowing forward without paying much attention to standards.

I think the time has come for government agencies to do more than merely point out the many Chinese safety missteps. The time has come for a restriction on Chinese imports - ESPECIALLY pharmaceutical imports. When patients are DYING as a result of the poor hygiene standards in Asia, it's time for action.

You know what's at work here: a profit motive. Chinese heparin is far less expensive than the American made variety, which is why Big Pharma is happy to import it. When Big Pharma spends less on making the drugs, they can pass the savings on to the consumer, right? HA! Just kidding - of course, any savings Big Pharma companies realize from the manufacturing of drugs only increases their profits.

So what's an American consumer to do? If you ask me, I think it would be wise to purchase as few Chinese-made goods as possible. If you shop at Wal-Mart, this is nearly impossible. But at the very least, you should try to find out as much about the origin of the ingredients that are in any prescription drugs you take.

As always, you are your own last line of defense. When it comes to drugs or anything you put in your body - stay away from the "Made in China" label.

Testosterone and Pregnancy

While trying to figure out WHY I can't have testosterone

My OB/GYN does not want me to have bio-identical testosterone while I am trying to conceive TTC.

I keep asking WHY and cannot get an answer.

I finally found this online, wonder if this is it.

A Stress-Free Pregnancy Can Deliver a Healthy Child
New research done by a team at Cambridge University has linked a child's ability to socialize, communicate and develop language skills to a mother's level of stress during pregnancy. Following 100 children from their early days in the womb to the age of seven years old, investigators found that those who were exposed to less testosterone during pregnancy were better adjusted socially and had better language skills. Because pregnant women who are stressed produce more testosterone, their babies are exposed to higher levels of the hormone, which can impact the child from as early as 13 weeks gestation. Researchers noted that 24 hours after birth, baby boys already displayed less interest in people. At 12 months, poor baby-to-parent eye contact was perceived in babies with high prenatal levels of testosterone. By 18 months, babies with lower levels of testosterone in the womb had larger vocabularies than those with high exposure, who either had a limited vocabulary or could not talk at all. Once the children reached school age, those that had higher testosterone exposure had a harder time socializing. Researchers also commented that the higher levels of testosterone during pregnancy could possibly cause the child to develop autism.
Source: Tahira Yaqoob, DailyMail.co.uk

So while I still think I am low, extremely LOW on the testosterone - this makes sense!

What to do with a blighted ovum diagnosis?

I have received several comments from precious ladies on what to do with a blighted ovum diagnosis. I had not figured out how to respond - and this is my response -

1. Seek the Lord's will and face through fervent prayer. He will guide you.
2. Be in one accord with your husband on the decision.
3. Know that if you choose to "WAIT IT OUT" like we did, that you will never have a moment of regret or wonder on whether or not you aborted a baby that could have just been hiding under a tilted uterus, or just for whatever reason not showing what the doctors and u/s techs consider "normal."
4. Watch for fever, excessive pain or bleeding - go to the doctor if you have those. Ask your physician what else you need to watch for and obey. Doesn't mean you have to opt for the D&C or the abortion pill, just be mindful.
5. Continue to pray. Continue ALL positive pregnancy eating, multivitamins, etc,that will all help you nourish your body!

I'm so sorry my dear sisters, may the Lord bless & keep you

What Is The Story Behind "The Prudent Wife"

House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. Proverbs 19:14

I am not quite sure why I have hesitated to talk about our lives in here, and tell you about www.ThePrudentWife.com. Perhaps, because they are exceedingly difficult, remain difficult, no letting up in sight. But as I watch the elections, talk to people at church, in our FPU class, people met while waiting long hours in doctors offices, and watch our friends, I am struck by how many people are in a similar situation. A few years ago, we were living the American Dream. Today, our homes are worth less than we paid, gas is outrageous and food prices are out of control. We are struggling to make it through each DAY, to make ends meet. We felt modestly prosperous a few years ago, and suddenly, just eating and getting to work and church is a struggle.

So many of us are in this same boat together, struggling to survive, which is why The Prudent Wife is such a passion for me! Hope seems gone. Retirement, what is that? College savings, huh? How do we get through the groceries we OWN until payday? How do we copy a restaurant meal at home, since restaurants are a thing of the past? How do we feed our families nourishing, healthy meals and deal with food allergies and health problems that can be helped by maximum nutrition when we can't afford it? How do we feed our family with an eye toward our health tomorrow, not just a desperate attempt to provide food today? How do we protect our health in a time of financial poverty? How do we afford laundry detergent? Cut our light bills? Sew a skirt? Go green? Take some reject paint and make a room look great for $6? How do we bridge the gap from what our lives USED to be, to what they ARE today? What do we do with the hopes and dreams we had? How do we reorganize them for this economy? How do we guard our heart and mind in hard times? And most importantly, how do we act as the Prudent Wife in scripture, honoring our husbands, accepting what is, and building a household infused with the JOY of the Lord, even in tough times.

Maybe you are like us, and life does not seem to "let up" and it becomes a long exercise in persevering through uncertainty. For two months we have been battling my husband's employer trying not to go under. Long hours, fear that the company will shut down or there will be layoffs or firings. Longer hours to fight for a company that has been around for over 100 years, employing generations of people. 250 jobs are at stake. The downsize is on, a desperate search for a home in our modest, modest price range.

I spent three hours at the Cancer Center on Monday. All my doctors agree we should not try to concieve with my issues. Yesterday, I had a thyroid scan to check for cancer. We begin moving in 12 days. I go to another Cancer Center for a biopsy the following week. 92 vials of blood in the last year. All of this has delayed the official launch of The Prudent Wife, as we just cope with what is on our plate.
Like so many of your lives, it is not just one thing going on.

ThePrudentWife.com began as an obedience after having our business fail and losing everything and ending at $100k in business debt. This is our story, a story of God's remarkable faithfulness in the storm, and what He is teaching us. This is the story of His fallible children, who want so badly to please Him, and often stumble haltingly through life. This is a story that ends with hope, because no matter how dark and dismal, our HOPE is in HIM! "This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast, and one which enters within the veil." This is a story our family has survived and learned so many new things, with God's mercy and grace woven through the inexplicable twists and turns, molding and shaping us, our Anchor in the storm.

ThePrudentWife.com is how we survived a cross country move, starting a business that failed, going through our little nest egg, depleting our emergency account, and even taken our super emergency account out and every dime we had was gone. No savings. No money. In a new and strange land. Cooking 21 meals a week out of nothing, making my own soaps, lotions and cleansers, laundry detergent and dishwashing soap, how to scrimp and save every dollar and live on less than it is possible to live and still make it each month. We learned how to live like pioneers in middle class America. Our grocery bill dipped to $50 a week. We made $6000 that year, and God sustained us.

So in the next few weeks, I will get the results of the thyroid scan, we will continue to wonder about Dave's job, and he will go in fighting to save the company each day, because that is who he is. We will move. I will get the biopsies. Go to the next few appointments. Pray. Move forward. Not give up.
Day in and day out, job still on the line, but we persevere. We know the Lord has gotten us this far. He has promised to never leave us or forsake us, and I believe that wholeheartedly.

No, we have not gotten the margin we so desperately sought when we came here. But we have grown through the storms and trials, we have learned the lesson of persevering even deeper, and more completely, and we have a story to tell that few have.

And that is why I don't just give up on ThePrudentWife.com It is just the three of us working on it. We don't have a team of people, just two parents and a kid who are still in the struggle. The Prudent Wife is that obedience the Lord stirred in our hearts over a year ago. While it has taken forever to launch, it is worth sharing what we are learning, helping other people in this economy that dips and swerves, with ever escalating prices, create their own prudent journey, in the Lord's grace.

Persevere in the storm! It is what we are called to do!

We encourage you to visit ThePrudentWife.com today! Thank you for your patience and waiting. With the Lord's continued mercy and grace, this site will grow into what HE wants, a testimony of hope, and some great ideas on how to save time, money and energy while going green.

Ads by Google

SEO timeout

Member's Login